End of Summer

Where did the summer go?  Nowadays a good chunk of it is wasted with that fucking Hundred bollocks, can anyone remember who won?  Now it’s mid September and the three test series against Pakistan has been and gone. Captained by Joe Root, England have dominated every day bar one and have inflicted three thrashings on a Pakistan side that has barely been competitive.  I expected more, especially with them coming here on the back of a creditable drawn series in the Caribbean.  Any Test cricket is good but what we saw in this series was a long way from the standard of cricket we saw against India last year.  England could not do more than crush the opposition three times, especially after what came in the weeks and months before this series. 

It’s difficult to say whether England have been good or Pakistan have been bad.  On paper the Pakistani batsmen looked decent, some youngsters along with experienced players with test hundreds and decent averages.  The media wants us to believe they’ve run into a top quality England pace attack and that might well be the case but conditions were in the bowlers favour this year.  However this does look like an attack to get excited about, all four have been excellent at times, including Gus who has been unlucky. 

Robinson has been world class this summer and was pretty bloody good when he first came into the Test side a few years ago.  I can’t help wondering what the fuck went on to cause his exile?  Some of the blame must be with the player but with this obvious talent, the management should have treated him the same way as Wood and Archer.  Jofra has been consistently good this year, playing regular Test cricket without fitness issues has been good for him, his rhythm is in the groove.  Josh Tongue is still raw but he has a habit of bowling unplayable deliveries, he’s only going to get better.  Poor Gus Atkinson has been bloody unlucky this series and hasn’t got the wickets he deserved but this could be because the other three have been so good!  We’ll need reserves so add to this the likes of Stone, Baker, Fisher and yes Carse then things are looking pretty good.

England’s batsmen have scored enough runs to win comfortably three times, without looking particularly impressive.  At the top of the order Duckett scored the only England test century of the summer but done little else, we know he’s better than this but he needs to start showing it.  His opening partner, Emilio Gay has scored tough runs and may have done just enough to keep his place in the squad, opening the batting has been tougher than ever in the conditions this summer.  Injury to Bethell has meant a revamped middle order with Cox and Lawrence putting themselves in the frame for the future but like Gay, they need a century, something no one has managed this series.  Root has not been near his best this summer but we know he is world class, as is Brook but I feel he should do better.  Smith was barely noticeable behind the stumps, which is what we want from a keeper and when he stood up to Robinson he looked good.  He looked more comfortable with the bat too and got a couple of decent scores.  The conditions have been tough for batsmen this year but Abbas aside the Pakistan bowlers did not impress so the players that came in still have much to prove.

We have an idea of what the team will look like in the near future but what we won’t know is how the team can be balanced now Stokes has gone. At some point we’ll need a spinner and I think England have missed a trick in not picking Rehan Ahmed for this series, although to be fair he probably wouldn’t have bowled much.  Are there any other decent all rounders out there?  Maybe a more experienced Sam Curran?  Other spinners in the frame, obviously Bashir has talent but Leach is as good as anyone and Bess has done well in first class cricket this summer.

Joe Root’s captaincy looked fine for most of the series, as long as the four quick bowlers were doing their thing, he barely had to steer the ship.  Then in the third test when Pakistan counter attacked he completely lost the plot and control of the game, this was all too familiar.  If this looks like happening again, someone needs to have a word or he won’t be captain for long.

There’s some ODI stuff coming up in the autumn but the next real cricket will be in South Africa in December.  The Saffers have proved me wrong, they are top team and will be a real test for this evolving team which by then will have another Kiwi coach.  From memory Fleming the batsman was totally unlike BM, hopefully he’ll be the right man for the job.

Squad for South Africa

Root ©, Duckett, Gay, Bethell, Cox, Brook, Lawrence, Smith (k)
Archer, Atkinson, Robinson, Tongue, Stone, Baker
Ahmed, Bashir

Third test. It can't get any worse

Third test.  New Zealand won the toss on a flat pitch and decided to bat.  Openers Latham and Conway opened the batting and kept going and going and going and…

As the runs piled up, landmarks came and went and sessions passed so the questions formed in my mind; flat pitch or good batting? Will we ever take a wicket? What the fuck is going on?  If NZ bat us out of the match, will that be the end of the Kiwi?
Eventually, deep into the third session both openers fell in quick succession but not until each had passed 150 and the partnership was over three hundred.  England mugged two more out before the end of the day and things looked a lot brighter.  It wasn’t long ago that we thought England could win from any position but that confidence is long gone now.

Day two saw a complete reversal.  England bowled well - Stokes in particular, kept the pressure on and managed to take the final six NZ wickets for just seventy seven more runs and New Zealand finished on 438.  In England’s reply Gay fell early but Duckett and Bethell were superb and when the day closed the score was 223/2. Duckett was out having made 113 but Bethell was unbeaten on 74 with Root alongside him at the crease.  Despite their still being a large deficit the feeling was England were ahead in the game and should be able to power on in the morning and get a lead.

On the third day the match flipped again.  England lost the overnight batsmen quickly and there was a procession of wickets; Smith and Stokes contributed little but Brook passed fifty again before missing a straight one.  The innings was all over at tea all out for 354 now New Zealand were clearly ahead in the game although the TMS commentators were saying the pitch was deteriorating.  Jofra removed the openers and it was game on but NZ batted well and finished on 120-3.  With a lead of 204 their position was stronger than it was at the end of the first day.

The fourth day was one of good old fashioned attritional cricket with England bowling well, nicking wickets but NZ gradually building their lead.  Ravindra was out in the nineties and Mitchell scored the slowest half century for years while Stokes and Archer took the wickets. 
Then in the middle of the afternoon came a total shock, Ben Stokes announced his retirement at the end of the game.  Why?  Was it for his long term health and fitness or have the controversies and disappointments of recent weeks and months taken their toll?  Reasons are irrelevant, England will be losing one of our greatest cricketers and the future for this current team is uncertain to say the least.

Back to the cricket…  New Zealand kept plodding along, Stokes got a wicket in the first over after his retirement was announced, of course he did!  Mitchell completed a brilliant hundred and NZ declared with a lead of 370+.  Stokes opened the batting (of course he did!) blazed away to 30 then got out and was applauded from the field for the final time, he’ll be missed in so many ways.  After that England batted like it was a one day match, runs scored, wickets fell and finished the day on 103/4.  I know this was an emotional afternoon but this was brainless cricket, almost disrespectful to the game and to the opposition.

The final day had no surprises unless you count Smith getting a few runs and perhaps extending his test career a while longer.  England managed to bat on into the second session which suggests that with a bit more application on the previous evening, a draw might have been possible.  Drawn test matches have gone out of fashion lately but there have been countless great test matches that finished without a result.  New Zealand eventually bowled England out to deservedly win the match by 160 runs and take the series 2-1.  NZ didn’t win because of all the disruption going on in the England camp, they won because they played better, more disciplined cricket.

So no more Stokes in test cricket, a shock as well as a disappointment, I hoped we see him play for a couple more years yet and I wonder if there’s more to it than meets the eye.  Apart from a few great bowling spells and some blinding catches I can remember four innings that left me open mouthed and one of them may have been the best ever.  For me his captaincy tailed off towards the end but at his best he was as good as any I’ve seen.

 

So where does that leave us? Right back where we were at the start of the BB era, up shit creek without a paddle and with a large hole in the boat.  When you look at the players we have along with others who have retired in the last four years, led by an excellent captain, we could have dominated Test cricket.  What has become apparent is the team has been under prepared, at times one dimensional and often badly selected, no wonder we’ve under performed. 

What next?  We have an unproven team with potential but no obvious leader, other than Root who is poor tactically.  Yes exactly where we were four years ago, the Kiwi has to go along with Key.  New coach?  I’d go for Alec Stewart ta very much.

We’ve got a load of white ball stuff coming up next along with the bastard hundred, the next test is against Pakistan in August, somebody needs to do a lot of thinking before then.  Apart from the obvious (I’d still balance the side with Rehan Ahmed) I can’t see the line up changing much.  The bowlers are largely blameless for these latest debacles and Ollie Robinson is one of the summers plus points.  Emilio Gay came in to the side in good form and did okay.  Jacob Bethell was in no form at all and struggled until the third test.  If England are serious about him as a test player he needs to play first class cricket ahead of a franchise payday.  If Bethell himself is serious about test cricket he should choose to do so.

That just leaves the captaincy.  Put the names below onto a dartboard and chuck a dart blindfolded.

XII for Pakistan
Gay, Duckett, Bethell, Root, Brook, Smith, Ahmed, Atkinson, Robinson, Archer, Tongue, Bashir

Second Test

I was away from home last week which is one of the reasons I totally missed the first day, Test matches start on Thursday don’t they? Ironically a much different England team (five changes!!!) had a decent day but as soon as I tuned in, things went downhill. The first session I heard was the start of day two when England were fucking diabolical and Joe may be a saint but he isn’t a captain, he still hasn’t learned. New Zealand got on top and remained there for the next two days. NZ won the crucial moments and outplayed England. I have to have a word on selection. Just to say, with Stokes out I’d have picked another all rounder; Rehan Ahmed has taken wickets and scored good runs in the championship today. I haven’t seen James Rew - the stand in Wickie but he dropped two catches. An interesting trend in recent series is opposition keepers standing up to fast/medium bowlers. If this continues it’s all the more reason to pick a proper wicket keeper…
The match made it to the fifth day with NZ well on top but was all over within the hour, Matt Henry bowled brilliantly to take eleven in the match and New Zealand won by 253 runs. A thrashing and for the series to be all square feels right and fair. England were outplayed in all aspects of the game; we fielded badly, didn’t score enough runs and the captaincy was poor. This was one of the worst home performances I can remember, there is no disgrace in losing to NZ but the margin of defeat is embarrassing and five changes is no excuse.
Of the players who came in Archer and Fisher done well but I expect only Jofra will make the next XI. Rew’s keeping was not good enough and neither he nor Cox made enough runs to make a case for selection in the near future. I can’t understand the Baker selection, with Archer and Tongue in the side there is enough pace and Matt Henry showed the worth of a line and length bowler, like Sam Cook of Essex who was tried last year? To be fair the bowlers weren’t the problem, England just didn’t score enough runs.
There will be changes for the next match; Stokes should return and hopefully Atkinson, Robinson and Smith should be available. Even a “full strength” England team will have their work cut out to beat New Zealand and dare I say it, there are players under pressure as well as the management.

MCC & England. Both should be embarrassed

4^th June  Day one

Welcome back TMS and the voices of summer!  New Zealand won the toss and put England into bat under gloomy skies, to see our batsmen reduced to 55-5 was predictable and didn’t hurt as much as it should have.  NZ played and won a test match in Ireland last week so came to Lords in the groove while England’s players had played a few county games.  To see England bowled out for 140 was no surprise but to be fair NZ bowled really well and only Brook gave his wicket away but not until he’d played a typical innings of 56, although he was dropped twice along the way.  With less than forty overs bowled in the match, England were in deep shit again and it seemed all too familiar.

But Ollie Robinson bowled a superb opening over to leave NZ 2-3 and there was only one loose ball in his opening spell which was 6-3-10-4.  This is the player that hadn’t been picked for two years.  Atkinson and Tongue chipped in with wickets too and play finished with NZ on 61-6, England have a chance of a first innings lead which is insane.

Day two

England managed to bowl out New Zealand without too much fuss, Robinson got five and deserves his place on the hours board.  NZ were 113 all out so England finished with a lead of 27 and the second innings progressed slowly but surely passed 100.  Gay in his first Test reached fifty but when he was out with the score 126-3 it sparked a collapse to 126-7 and the game was swinging towards the southern hemisphere.  Together Smith and Atkinson steadied things and later Robinson chipped in and for the second day in a row England benefited from bad misses in the field.  Eventually all out for 226, England set NZ 254 to win the match.  Just like the first day, New Zealand had to start batting again after spending most of the day in the field, England had to make the new ball count.  With the score finishing on 36-3 and Williamson gone they just about did.  England on top but one decent partnership could swing it the other way.

Day three was a non event, a few overs bowled, a few runs scored and two wickets for Robinson put NZ even deeper in the shit.  Day four began with a New Zealand win possible if unlikely but any England nerves were settled by an Early Wicket for Tongue.  This was followed by NZ’s best partnership of the match which passed fifty before it was broken by Stokes.  Atkinson soon mopped up the tail to finish with five and England won by 115 runs.  In the context of this low scoring match the margin of victory amounts to a thrashing, England were better in every department, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to say that!

There was a lot of chat about the pitch which was very poor, not good enough for any first class cricket, let alone a Test match.  Thankfully it didn’t favour one side over the other, It was a fair and even contest but not a memorable game of cricket.  England go one up and will almost certainly name an unchanged side next week but we haven’t learned much about this ‘reset’ England team.  I have learned that I still care though.

Or do I?  Professional sportsmen, people given the one in a million chance to follow their wildest dreams and make a living doing something most of us can only wish we had the ability to do.  Sadly some of these fortunate people don’t have the intelligence to stay out of the fucking pub, morons.  What goes on in Stokes’ head?  He’s given us once in a lifetime performances on the cricket pitch but his after hours shenanigans have cropped up and got him into trouble before.  His attitude when interviewed during the most embarrassing Ashes series in living memory was arrogant and out of line.  Everyone needs to let off steam, fair enough but what are professional sportsmen doing in a night club in mid series?  But for off field decisions England could be ranked number one in the world and I’ve been critical of the Kiwi but is Stokes off field stupidity the real problem?  Is it him selecting players that have no business in test cricket?  That the captain doesn’t think a team curfew applies to him is completely wrong.  “Run towards adversity” they say but you get the impression this squad would run blindly towards a pride of hungry lions or swim a crocodile infested river.  Worryingly they’re in South Africa this winter…

Test Cricket Tomorrow!!!

The greatest sport of all returns tomorrow, England vs New Zealand at Lords but a showery week is forecast.  We’re stuck with the Kiwi so have to live with it and the on field personnel are mostly familiar.  I’d like to have seen a different keeper but Foakes has been injured though I doubt they’d have picked him anyway.  I hope Smith does well and stops all speculation.   As for the Kiwi, it’ll take more than a couple of home wins to convince me.

Crawley has gone which can be no surprise to anyone, replaced by somebody called Emilio Gay who has been going well in the championship, fair enough.  Otherwise the batting line up is the same although Smith and Stokes may swap places.  The bowlers are mostly familiar, Bashir is back (?!), good for him, I hope he does well.  Apparently Carse would have been in the squad but his injury opens the door for others.  Robinson is set to return from exile, at his best he’s as good as anyone we’ve got these days.  Josh Tongue should be an automatic choice now which leaves Gus Atkinson or the wild card Sonny Baker.  Apparently he’s fast but I’d leave him for later in the year and go with Gus.
New Zealand are a good, well drilled team with excellent batsmen and some bowlers we’ve not seen much of before.  England should expect to win every home series but have to be at their very best otherwise New Zealand could well win.  If England fail to win this series will anything change?

Lowest ebb

It’s difficult committing thoughts to virtual paper when you live in a world where the Israeli leadership has got the US and other western governments in a headlock thanks to evidence gathered via a paedophile ring by a Mossad agent.  In a sane world the previous sentence should be considered ludicrous and instantly dismissed as nonsense but in 2026 it could actually be true.  If Epstein was an agent then whatever Trump and co. are trying to hide is certainly known by Israel.  They also know what Mandelson was up not to mention randy Andy.  It would be nice to think that the truth, whatever that may be, will someday come out but we can’t even be confident that will happen.

Apparently the person widely regarded as the King is paying a state visit to the American idiot later this month.  That anyone thinks there is a shred of justification for this is further evidence of a warped reality but something we know for certain is Charles has plenty of form when it comes to associating with paedophiles.  If he goes to the US and sits down to dinner with Trump then he (and in the eyes of many, we) will slither down to a new low.  If there really is a valid reason for this meeting of two old millionaires then is it too much of a jump to think it must be a filthy secret?  I doubt we’ll ever know what it is.

There is theory and speculation which we can all have fun with then there are facts;
The president of the US is a criminal, a brazen liar, a bigot and a con man.  He should be in prison.
The Israeli leader has ordered a genocide, comparison with Hitler is justified and he should be on trial in Den Haag.
Successive British governments have remained silent in the face of crimes against humanity.

I think it’s fair to say that most people assumed humanity had reached its lowest point during the second world war but Israel and the US have this hindsight yet decided to wage war on mostly innocent people regardless.  Humanity’s lowest ebb is right now. 

Poison frogs and paedos. Tell me I'm not the only one seeing this stuff?

Writing stuff down, committing words to paper/screen/existence?  Whatever it is, it helps me to unravel the thoughts going through my head.  I try to ignore the insanity swirling around the world, the edited highlights presented to us as news but the bullshit seeps in, it’s impossible to stop.  Take yesterday, Saturday February 14^th, the headline said “Starmer says ‘Europe must be ready to fight’…”  Fight who?  Is this the proxy war going on in Ukraine?  Or is our latest corrupt prime minister just parroting what the yanks want to hear?  Spending more billions on ‘defence’ effectively means giving all that money to American corporations; the bully started threatening, Starmer and others caved in, the bully wins again.  This is tax payers money being handed over in the name of defending ourselves against an enemy but which enemy?  Who is he/they?  Where are they?  When our government tells us we have an enemy, few people question it let alone realise they are paying for it.

The other headline that caught my eye concerned the former Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, who died in prison in 2024. He was apparently killed by a toxin found only in Amazonian frogs and used in poison darts, so we’re told by ‘western sources’.  Is it true?  We know Putin is a murderer so it is possible, even likely. Of course Putin is the unnamed enemy that we are supposed to fear in order to justify giving billions to the US arms industry.  Yes we know Putin is a bad man but we also know there is a paedo in the white house (and that is listing just one of his known crimes,) so the timing of this Russian revelation is perfect for the western governments.  If the world is looking towards Moscow it gives Starmer and Trump a temporary respite from scrutiny over whole Epstein shitstorm.  Time to get their stories straight and plan for the next batch of E files; will they answer, counter, ignore or bury?

Just as we know what Putin is, we also know that Trump is worse.  Just having known about Epstein should be enough to see the tangerine Palpatine driven from office and in a fair world his involvement should see him locked up. If the yanks aren’t getting rid of him then it really isn’t our concern but what happens on the slightly saner side of the Atlantic absolutely is.  In the exposure of Mandleson’s friendship with a man he knew to be a sex criminal, another plot is being uncovered.  As someone who swings to the left politically, this one is grit in the eye.

Whatever people’s opinion of Jeremy Corbyn, history will record that under his leadership the Labour party reached record levels of membership.  He was a popular leader amongst the ordinary members and should have won the 2017 general election had it not been for sabotage within the Labour party structure.  Mandleson was quoted around this time as saying “I try to undermine Jeremy Corbyn every single day”.  With what went on afterwards we may conclude he did so with some success.

After the 2019 election Corbyn couldn’t survive as leader and Starmer was elected with on the back of Ten pledges that could have come from JC himself but these were all soon forgotten.  It seems that Mandleson was behind the scenes, pulling strings the whole time.  Starmer then consolidated his leadership, undermined the left of the party – left leaning prospective candidates were rejected in favour of Mandleson’s selections and his Lordship’s protégés were slotted into positions behind the scenes. Corbyn was expelled under the ludicrous charge of antisemitism that only the Murdoch fed herd took seriously.  I expect Mandleson as a Jew enjoyed that.  I don’t want to be using that kind of language because I understand the difference but there are things that cannot be left unsaid, so from here on, I’ll refer to him/them as Zionists should the need arise.

We currently live in a world where the state of Israel can commit genocide against the Palestinian people and go uncensored by most media outlets.  Our own government is guilty of aiding and abetting the Israeli murder machine and remaining silent when civilians are being slaughtered.  Just as Mandleson said nothing while young women were being trafficked, this Labour government has been silent while children have been murdered.  When I read that in 2024, thirteen out of the twenty five strong Labour cabinet received donations from pro-Israel lobbyists* I cannot help but be suspicious (*source- Declassified UK).  That’s right, this Labour government is being funded by Zionists.  This same Labour government criminalised protest in order to spare their Zionist friends from embarrassment but thankfully in a more welcome recent headline, this ban has been ruled unlawful.

What the fuck am I saying here?  That Mandleson was part of a conspiracy to create a political culture in which genocide was made possible?  Sounds daft when I put it like that but it happened whether it was deliberate or not.  Is this all part of a worldwide Zionist plot or is this another hysterical conclusion?  It is certainly not one I want to believe in but as the layers unpeel it’s hard to write things of as coincidence.  That the media regards Palestinian lives as less valuable than Ukrainian lives is undeniable, this is no accident, it is orchestrated, bought and paid for. When I first read that Epstein was a Mossad agent, I couldn’t take it seriously, surely this is a media creation but this unbelievable statement has a growing chunk of evidence behind it.  If this turns out to be true then how far does it go?  It doesn’t bare thinking about.

Poison frogs and Zionist paedo conspiracies.  Is this really happening or have the nineties caught up with me?  I'm not the only one seeing this stuff am I?

A rich man's paedophile ring.

Jeffery fucking Epstein.  Just in case you’ve been living in a cave for the last few years, Epstein was a billionaire “financier” (which I believe to mean con man) who courted the rich and famous.  His New York home and private island were the scenes of exclusive sex parties in which women, some of whom were underage and were sexually abused.  He served time in the US in 2008 – 2009 for trafficking underage girls yet still his friends, politicians and Royalty remained loyal to him.  He was arrested again and was being held in jail again when he died under mysterious circumstances.  At the time it was thought to be suicide but in the light of those now implicated, does anyone believe it was anything other than an assassination?  Whatever the truth I doubt we’ll ever get to the bottom of it.

Certainly there are a load of famous and influential people who would have breathed a sigh of relief at his demise and these same people have been keeping their mouths firmly shut ever since.  It is possible that these former friends of a known paedophile are themselves innocent of any wrong doing, unlikely but possible.  But even if we take that massive leap of faith, they are all guilty of silence and are therefore complicit.  This went on for years, young women were being exploited and many rich, powerful people knew about it.  When kids are being abused and people with knowledge stay silent then ‘law’ doesn’t come into it, they are guilty of something truly horrible. I'll call it what it is; a rich man's paedophile ring.

Obviously most of the guilty dwell west of the Atlantic on the insane side of the ocean, (not that we’re much better to be fair…)  The whole world knows Trump tells lies every time his mouth opens and the whole world knows he was involved with Epstein.  It turns out that many of Donny Paedo’s friends and associates were on good terms with Epstein, many of these still hold positions of power. Other names that would be familiar in the UK include Bill Clinton who we know is no stranger to a sex scandal, the evil emperor Elon Musk, and the man who sold the world Bill Gates.  From elsewhere also mentioned in the E files are former Israeli PM Ehud Barak and our own loveable self made man and grandson of a Viscount, Richard fucking Branson.  Of course Branson is not the only British subject under scrutiny for extreme lack of judgement when choosing friends.

Starting with the former HRH once ironically known a Randy Andy who is already in disgrace for his association via Epstein, with the under age Virginia Guiffre.  Andy always proclaims his innocence yet something compelled him to settle out of court in 2022 after being sued by Guiffre.  This after failing to convince the judge to dismiss the case.  Andy tried to get his personal security to smear Guiffre, to paint her in a bad light and so make himself look like some kind of victim.  Virginia Guiffre committed suicide in April 2025.  The latest batch of Epstein files implicate Andy further, a photo of him in a questionable position above an obviously under age female.  Still the bastard remains silent.

Randy Andy’s former wife, once known as Sarah Duchess of York has herself been forced to close her own charity and withdraw from association with others due to her own links to Epstein.  It is not suggested that she was involved with anything sleazy but she certainly remained in contact with Epstein after his initial conviction for trafficking.  It is hard to believe she didn’t know more than she has ever let on.  Will the lizard king bring pressure on little bruv to speak or will they all just stay silent and hope it blows over.  I know where I’d put my money.

Then we come to my own personal “favourite” Peter Mandleson AKA Lord Mandelson, described by Wiki as a “former British politician, lobbyist and diplomat”.  Alternatively, I might describe him as an example of everything that is wrong with modern British career politicians; self serving, duplicitous, lacking in moral conviction and ultimately corrupt.  Mandleson was one of the architects of New Labour and so betrayed the working class and the people who originally elected him.  His own personal dodgy dealings led to him having to resign his position twice whilst serving in Blair’s government and how many more did he get away with?  In recent times he betrayed the working class a second time by taking every opportunity to undermine Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership.  Whatever people think of Corbyn, he was twice democratically elected by Labour members and the party had it’s highest membership of modern times whilst he lead the party.  In sporting terms what Mandleson done is equivalent to deliberately playing to lose, leaving the stumps unguarded or scoring an own goal.  Perhaps the best comparison is Hansie Cronje.  There have been many occasions over the years when Mandleson has met with influential people; financiers and Russian oligarchs included, which constituted a clear conflict of interest.  In plain language, Mandleson was already known to be a dodgy fucker, yet still he was influential in Starmer’s government.  Then came the Epstein files.

As information was released and his association with Epstein became apparent, Mandleson was forced to resign once again, this time from his position as Ambassador to the US.  People will quickly forget when someone meets a dodgy Russian but a friend to a paedo is in the spotlight for life.  In recent days we’ve learned Epstein paid a large sum of money to Mandleson’s husband and now it seems Lord Peter forwarded internal government information to Epstein in 2009.  This took place whilst he was business secretary and after Epstein had been convicted of sex trafficking.  The government are currently working on legislation to strip Mandleson of his peerage but they shouldn’t stop there, this fucker should be going to prison.  However, although he will never redeem himself, the Peter formally known as Lord does have an opportunity to do the right thing.  Talk.  Tell people what you know, point the finger, name names, help bring the other guilty people to justice.  Help the victims.

From the depth and detail of the Epstein files it doesn’t take too great a leap of faith to conclude that the files were Jeffery’s insurance policy.  If he went down then he intended to take a whole load of powerful people down with him.  What has resulted is an international sex scandal with evidence of global corruption and the same powerful people are still colluding to limit the flow of information and investigation.  Compare this to the furore that erupted when Clinton spunked on a dress.

Sack the kiwi

Another away Ashes series has gone badly, we should be used to this by now but this one is feels particularly raw.  We were not beaten by a better team but by one that played smarter cricket.  The score line is irrelevant in a way, what really niggles is I put my faith and trust in the England set up, they were going to do things differently, their way and despite misgivings I believed there was a grand plan that would bring the Ashes home.  Two days into the series the penny dropped, my rose tinted specs shattered and I realised how naïve my thinking had been.  

I am a great believer in positive thinking but when it becomes delusional it is dangerous.  We are given the impression that Stokes & McCullum have been allowed to do what they want within the bubble of ‘the group’.  Somebody now needs to get a grip on things, the culture needs to change.  I have no problem with players having a drink but the stories that are starting to seep out go beyond just having a drink.  If these are only part true then for an international sports team the behaviour is simply unprofessional.  As a supporter I would describe my feelings as being badly let down, conned even.  Not so much by the players but by the management team that has allowed these things to happen, I mean actions before and during the series both on and off the field.  What the fuck were they thinking?  They’ve made idiots of themselves as well as people like me who wanted to believe in them.  My cricket addicted friends agree, we have a collective feeling of anger which must be even stronger for England’s travelling fans.  Especially those who had tickets for days three onwards at Melbourne.  It would not surprise me to see McCullum get a hostile reception around the grounds this summer, if he lasts that long.

After heaping the stinking pile of blame on to the management team Perhaps I shouldn’t be so critical of the players as it may transpire that many have been badly coached or advised.  They certainly weren’t prepared professionally for international sport and it’s looking like they weren’t even encouraged to look after themselves whilst on tour.

Top Marks - We know what Joe Root gives us, he is our greatest ever batsman and he delivered again with two tons, if he got in he stayed in.  The only other batsman to impress was Jacob Bethell who will be a fixture of the team for a long time to come.  Before the series we knew how good Archer could be and it was good to see him at his best again; threatening with the ball and effective with the bat.  Jofra is a cricketer of the highest class, lets hope he stays fit (even if he should really be playing for West Indies).  Going into the series Tongue was very much an unknown quantity, how would he handle Australia?  Bloody well it turns out even when we wasn’t captained particularly well. 

We know you can do better  -  Stokes didn’t have his best series with the bat nor was his captaincy as good as it should be.  Actually it was bloody poor at times but he bowled consistently well throughout the series although often at the wrong times.  He needs to answer questions about the team culture as much as his decision making but at his best he is still an excellent captain and a great cricketer.  Duckett was way below par but unlike Crawley his stats tell us he is a good player and he should continue at the top of the order.  I’d say the same about Atkinson who was not at his best but was unlucky on the field, unlucky to be left out for a match and unlucky to get injured.  Brook is infuriating, loads of talent but apparently short on brain cells.  His numbers on the tour aren’t bad but if he could have stayed at the crease for longer he could have won us matches.  It may turn out that his off field decision making had a major effect on his performances and he more than any other player demonstrates why we need a different approach from the management.  

Good luck/bad luck – Jacks didn’t dream he’d play four matches and did okay in the circumstances without giving the selectors a good reason to select him again.  As for Bashir, two years of planning, how did he not get a game down under and what does it say about the coach?  Maybe the Kiwi would like to explain what it was all about, it certainly hasn’t done the player any favours.  Poor old Mark Wood, if there’s one player we know will give his all when able he’s the man.  With another injury I doubt we’ll see him in tests again but I hope I’m wrong.

Go back to your county and try again – Pope has been living in the shadow of the gallows for years and the pressure inflicted by both the Australian team and England’s management cracked him.  He may well come back lower down the order but he needs to find his groove again.   Smith has shown he has talent in both of his roles but he has also shown he doesn’t yet have the mental toughness for test cricket.  Then there’s Crawley who scored a few runs and got out cheaply a few times.  A normal series then which has been enough to see him hang on to his place for the last four years but the numbers don’t add up and it is time to try someone else.

Just no! – Carse actually reminds me a lot of Merv Hughes but he doesn’t have the luck nor crucially the intelligence.  Why they kept on giving him the new ball is anyone’s guess, he’s not an opening bowler and if other players are fit he has no place in the team.  That he was our leading wicket taker leads to a load more awkward questions.  Potts has been unlucky throughout his stop/start career but I think we know he’s not quite good enough.
BAZ!  Where do I start?  For consistently failing to select the best XI since 2023, for being responsible for a totally unprofessional England team to tour Australia, for the gross mismanagement of Bashir/Leech, for the enforced retirement of Jimmy Anderson, for taking away accountability in the dressing room, for the arrogant lack of preparation, for not having the humility to admit he’s wrong.  For blowing a golden chance of winning in Australia, for trying to reinvent the fucking wheel, just fuck off you sheep shagger.  But the latest news is he’ll be hanging on to his job, so will surely have no choice but to make changes to England’s approach off the field and the personnel on it.

As for the Aussies well Starc and Head were the difference between the two teams and Carey was bloody impressive behind the stumps.  Smith talks bollocks at times but you have to respect him as a player and Labuschagne is simply a wanker.  Boland done well and it was nice to see Khawaja given the chance to say goodbye.  Nobody should be losing any sleep over the rest of them and England should have beaten this team.

We don’t have another test until New Zealand in early June and we must all hope for changes in the starting XI.  Crawley has to go and the best two openers in county cricket are Hameed and Sibley, both have been tried before but both have spent a few years playing regular first class cricket in successful teams and are better, more confident players for it.  If Smith is rested, as he should be, then Jordan Cox looks like he’s next inline as a wicket keeper/batsman but the best wickie in county cricket is still Ben Foakes.

Team for the first Test vs New Zealand in June;
Duckett, Hameed, Bethell, Root, Brook, Stokes (c), Foakes (w), Atkinson, Archer, Tongue, Leech

5th Test Sydney

The fifth and final test from Sydney and neither team picked a spinner on what has traditionally been the most productive pitch for slow bowling down under.  I’m not one for subtlety so I’m going to call cricket Australia out for pitch doctoring.  Before the great Shane Warne came along Sydney was the ONLY pitch that spun but within a few years they were ALL going sideways.  Now Oz has in Starc, Hazlewood and Cummins a damn good seam attack, none of the pitches are spinning much instead they now resemble strips from division two of the county championship in April.  CA know what they are doing, this is deliberate and in all honesty no different to any other part of the cricketing world, except perhaps England?  In which case more fool us, there’s nothing wrong with home advantage as long as it doesn’t become farce as it has done in Pakistan and India in the not so distant past.  This is where the match referee and pitch inspectors need to show some bollocks.

Anyway, England won the toss and batted first, as usual we threatened to dig ourselves into a deep whole but Root and Brook got in and made it count.  By the time bad weather curtailed play England had reached 211-3, a decent position if far from a dominant one but for once this winter I was actually looking forward to day two.  I should have known better, what happened next was predictable.  Brook got out playing a nothing shot, quickly followed by Stokes so I went to bed.
What I found when checking in the following morning was also predictable, Root got a big ton, Smith scored a few but got out to a stupid shot and England ended up probably 70 runs short.  England’s openers bowled badly allowing Australia to bat comfortably to the end of play and finished 166 -2.  Carthorse is not a test cricketer let alone an opening bowler.

I listened to the start of day three and it began okay but when Potts came on and started chucking pies again, then Head was badly dropped I’d heard enough.  When I picked things up again the following morning it was no surprise to see Oz had amassed over 500 runs and were in full control of the match with Head and bloody Smith both getting tons.  Day four started with the possibility of an innings defeat and things looked grim when Stokes went off injured but Tongue knocked a couple over and Aus weren’t able to do much more damage.  As usual I clicked the App in the morning with trepidation but what I saw had me saying “fucking hell” in a positive tone.  Bethell was 142 not out and England had a 119 run lead with two wickets left.  Further scrutiny revealed 40+ scores for Duckett and Brook along with a load of single figure scores.  How many more runs will we need to make a game of this?  Probably too many but at least we’ve lasted until the fifth day.

7^th January 2025, my last opportunity to listen to a bit of Ashes cricket from down under, although that four years seems to come around at an alarming rate these days.  I half expected us to be blown away quickly but Potts survived and Bethell nudged his way past 150 and the lead crept up.  When Bethell edged behind it was time to climb the stairs.  England set 150 odd which was a challenge Australia completed with 5 wickets left to take the match and the 4-1 series win.  Now let the inquiries begin and never have they been more necessary.

2025 WTF?

Ah tradition!  Typing out a rant on New year’s eve (mostly) whilst imbibing beer and other narcotics (allegedly) and seeing where it takes me.  What I end up with is some vaguely coherent bollocks which amuses me if no one else.

Jesus Christ where do you start?  Well not with Jesus obviously because whether we like it or not he’s become irrelevant, even at the time of year we’re supposed to be celebrating his birth.  Nowadays we worship money and demonstrate our devotion by flaunting our possessions and this is the true meaning of Christmas.

So what did I miss in the news this year?

It seems increasingly likely that the US president - who we already know to be a convicted criminal and a compulsive liar – can also add child molestation to his list of crimes.  We also know nothing will be done to bring him to justice…
Just think, earlier in the year this paedo was given the full state welcome to this country including a banquet with Charlie big ears.  How can our ‘Royal’ family get involved with…  Ah yes hang on, one of their own is also implicated and every day looks a little bit more guilty.  Come to think of it, if the pervert formally known by the Murdoch press as ‘Randy Andy’ was actually innocent, wouldn’t he be getting lawyers involved?  Will he ever see justice?  Of course not, not while he’s alive at least.  Al Fayed and Saville spring to mind although Wacko Jacko got await with it, with help from a back catalogue worth billions because if there’s money to be made...  If Gary fucking Glitter had sold more records he’d be getting away with it too.

Cover ups were still big news in 2025, the long awaited Covid enquiry was published and told us nothing that wasn’t obvious at the time.  The government royally fucked up and this cost lives, De Pfeffel is a moron, Halfcock is an idiot, the pair of wankers should be put on trial along with Cummings and a few other bastards.  The yanks are excited about the Epstein files which implicates Donny Paedo and a sizeable chunk of wealthy America, allegedly.  The documents released so far are all heavily redacted, it’s as if someone over there doesn’t want the truth to come out?

What a disgusting shower of shite British politics is and everyday it gets worse.  Fucking Starmer started by lying and double crossing the Labour members that made him party leader so it shouldn’t come as a surprise that he carries on in the same vein.  The vast majority of the people elected to parliament are nothing more than parasites and they have so much contempt for the electorate they don’t even bother to pretend they are telling the truth.  None of the major political parties even pretend to care about the people and neither does Reform and if you’ve been conned by these chancers you’d better move on to the next page.  Actually why don’t you spend the next few minutes googling Nigel’s backers so you know exactly who you’re voting for.
Now the dumb cunts have gone I’ll carry on. 

The Establishment (ref. Owen Jones) are getting away with it these days because they’ve reverted to the tried and tested ‘Divide & conquer’ politics that have served them for centuries.  These people actually need immigrants as they are thankful for the shit jobs and help keep wages down.  They are also invaluable as scape goats to be used to rile up the herd.  While we’re all squabbling amongst ourselves we forget to keep an eye on what the bastards are up to.
As ever it’s all about the flow of cash and if charlatans such as Tommy ‘ten names’ Yaxley-Lennon can make a few quid by exploiting his followers (and so fund a lavish, jet set lifestyle) themselves then so be it.  Even if the shit he stirs smells fouler than most.  This year Ten names’ followers took to the streets to reclaim “are cuntry”.  They did this by painting roundabouts, hoisting flags and shouting at hotel doors.  They will never succeed in reclaiming anything because the Britain they mourn never actually existed.  All they achieve is to antagonise the marginalised communities that they are happy to pay to cook for them, drive them home from the pub, care for and generally tidy up after.   I wonder if they used to bully their mothers?

It’s no consolation but when it comes to racism other countries still practice it with much more expertise than we are able.  The yanks have a long history of ethnic persecution and exploitation and Donny Paedo is ramping it up again.  But even two and a half centuries of experience has been pushed aside by one of their young cousins.  The state of Israel has taken racism, turbo charged it and given us ethnic cleansing AND STILL THE WESTERN WORLD IS SILENT!  Meanwhile the Russians blew up a bus shelter in Kiev today and there is uproar.

How fucked is it that in this supposed free country people are being arrested and jailed for belonging to the group ‘Palestine Action’ which has been branded as ‘terrorist’ when their MO is peaceful protest?
How can the Murdoch media become outraged by musicians such as Bob Vylan and more recently Primal Scream making pro Palestinian/anti Zionist statements yet they do not express the horror of the genocide on our doorsteps?
“But that bastard Putin…”  Yes he is a bastard but there are worse much closer to home.

Also in international news Donny paedo began this year by promising that he, personally would be sorting out the Russia/Ukraine shitstorm and a peaceful solution was a formality, just days away.  Since then the peace loving Pres has launched unprovoked military action against targets in Iraq, Nigeria and Venezuela.  The fact that all three countries have oil reserves is pure coincidence.  It makes me wonder what is beneath the Greenland ice as Donny paedo has been threatening to annex this massive lump of nothing for years.

Back at home, we are still finding money for weapons we’ll never use but can’t find any cash to help the struggling NHS.  Private health care is coming, it’s just a question of when.  Our public services are being deliberately run down, in the near future the things paid for by the state that we currently take for granted will come at a price.  You want a precedent?  Test cricket, top tier football, championship boxing and any other sport you want to watch.  More serious, there is dentistry and even getting the doctor to syringe your ears out.
The water companies are still knowingly polluting our rivers while their CEO’s pay themselves bonuses.  This is one of the more visible examples of corporate greed being put before people’s welfare and simply doing the right fucking thing!
Talking of which, just tax the billionaires you grovelling cunts!

Honestly, I do not understand modern gender politics, where Trans people are concerned I don’t have a clue who does what to who but I respect people’s right to identify however they choose.  They’re not hurting anyone so why do people get so bothered about it?  Why are people so upset they need to go to the high court to enforce their oppression?  I’ll stand alongside Trans people while this country becomes hostile towards yet another marginalised group.  I won’t be spending my hard earned on any more publications from the writer formally known as Rowling.  The Harry Potter world is brilliant even if the writing is over rated but the Galbraith books become more tedious and over written with every instalment, for God’s sake it’s about time they fucked!  Just get it over with and while you’re at it get yourself an editor.  If JK is going to use her wealth to fund persecution (because she’s too arrogant to admit she was wrong in the first place) she won’t be getting any top up from me.

Every year people are born and people die, believe it or not famous people die too which often comes as a surprise to them as they assume immortality as one of the perks of fame.  Unfortunately the people we would like to see the back of rarely seem to conk out (who shouted ‘Tebbitt’ at the back?) and it makes you wonder if they really have done a deal with the devil.  For example Murdoch, Netanyahu, Donny Paedo, Putin, De Pfeffel, Musk, Bezos and a cast of thousands.
Instead we recognise the deaths of people that mostly touched people in a positive way which for me this time around was two old friends as well as George Foreman, Diane Keaton, Mani, Dickie Bird and Ozzy.

Mentioning the billionaires reminds me of the irony of me recycling my household waste while those cunts blast themselves into space for a joy ride.  This doesn’t make me smile.  Katy Perry didn’t expect the backlash when she got on board, I wonder if she’s learnt anything from either experience?

A more humble ‘celebrity’ is Gary Lineker, once a truly great footballer he turned himself into a damn good broadcaster but made the mistake of NOT keeping his personal opinions to himself.  This happened on numerous occasions but it was his anti genocide statements that finally saw him part company from the BBC.  I’m not going to bash the beeb because despite its many faults it is still the nearest thing we have to independent and impartial journalism.  In reality it is far from these ideals but it’s still the best we’ve got and when the BBC is no more we’ll have to pay for everything.  Which brings me back to Donny paedo again, no matter how hard I try to ignore this terrible example of the human species, it really is impossible.  The beeb used quotes from the paedo out of context just like journalists have done on a daily basis for as long as there has been news.  So Donny P says he will sue the BBC and there are fuckwitts applauding this.  I assume they don’t pay for a TV licence and don’t realise it’s their tax revenue the paedo is after.

A word of acknowledgement to the sick bastards that control and manipulate the news we get to see and hear every day.  Also a tip of the hat to the way news is managed in such a way it gets the herd believing exactly what the Establishment wants them too.  These evil fuckers have a billion dollar budget and I’m sure they are rewarded in kind.  They may be cunts but they’re damn good at what they do.

Well that is the most obvious shite covered but there were some good things going on in sport during 2025.  England’s women became world champions in Rugby union and European champions at football.  Both sets of players set brilliant examples of how to behave on and off the field and seem far more eloquent and intelligent than their male counterparts.  To be fair our male rugby players rarely let themselves down either and after losing their first match of 2025 went unbeaten thereafter (nb. 13 aside egg chasing doesn’t count).  Our cricketers had a poor year across all formats and where it matters most won only four out of ten tests.  After Zimbabwe were crushed we drew with India in a great series that we really should have won.  Then the Ashes, well at least we won a match for a change.

How do we stay sane when we have paedos, psychos, whores, bullshitters and bastards in control of the world?  Don’t even bother to try, the apparently sane people are the ones we really should treat with suspicion.  Pretty much all of the things above are best ignored after all, what the fuck can we do about it?  I say it every year, concentrate of the people you love and the things that make you happy. Nothing else matters.

Cricket but not as we know it

The Boxing day Test, essential listening (or viewing at times) at the end of Christmas day.  Sitting  there half pissed hoping to hear England do well.  In 2010 it was wonderful, glorious but every other time it’s been grim.  Tonight it started steady, Atkinson kept things tight but at the other end…  Is Carse short for carthorse?  Gus struck and the Aussies got stuck.  Tongue came on at the other end and nipped two out in no time.  A good time to go to bed but by the time I’d tidied up, brushed me teeth and climbed the stairs he’d nipped Smith out too!  That’ll do nicely thanks Father Xmas.

The following morning one of the first things I done after regaining consciousness was click on the Cricinfo app, I shouldn’t have been surprised.  This time they’re blaming the pitch and they may have a point but it makes no difference.  As bad as the scorecard looks, unbelievably England are not yet out of it so I’ll tune in again this evening, I wonder what will be happening by the time I go to bed… 

Things were tight and a couple of wickets fell before I went upstairs but when I woke the following morning I was in no hurry to check the score.  I assumed things would be grim so when I saw the score my jaw dropped and I nearly dropped me mug of tea.  England won by four wickets with Bethell top scoring and Carthorse took four wickets.  It’s good to be proved wrong.  The first win down under in fifteen years which is great but that just makes me even more frustrated!!  We should have won in Perth which would have immediately shifted the pressure onto the Aussies and then who knows what would have happened?  At worst we’d have been going to the SCG at 2-2 and my money would have been on an away win.  

But I'll allow myself this rare pleasure of celebrating a Test win down under, outside the winning series in 1986 and 2010 I think that's just the fourth time i can remember, making only nine in total. I think England can and will win a tenth next week which would make the score look respectable and arguably show we could/should have won this series.  If only they’d had not taken the preparation for granted.

Ashes, agonising and antagnonising

A few days ago the result that seemed a formality after day two in Perth was confirmed so putting us out of our misery, until the next time.  England did show a little fight this time but not until the game was as good as gone.  England have had the players to be competitive this time which is what makes this latest thrashing so frustrating.  At least the coach has shown some humility in the aftermath but he’ll need to answer some serious questions around planning, preparation and selection.

I still think England can win a match or two on this tour but our chances will not be helped by injury to Jofra, who has probably been our best player to this point.  This means Carse gets to play another Test match or two which should be his last because nothing he’s done since becoming ever present in the side merits repeated selection.  Ollie Pope has finally been put out of his misery so can look forward to finding his groove with Surrey next summer, he is good enough to come back again just not at three.  Predictably Jacob Bethell, who has played virtually no cricket this year replaces him but as far as runs on the scoresheet goes, I doubt we’ll see much change.  Like the great Jacques Kallis, Ben Stokes should bat at three.  Nobody in the squad has a better technique and it could set the tone for the batsmen that follow.  Also Will Jacks retains his place which means England won’t have any control from the spin option and we wonder WTF has the whole Bashir thing been about?  No one will be pondering this more than Jack Leach.

Despite all of this I still think if England can make a big first innings score at the MCG we can control the game and go on to win.  Even in the era of Warne, McGrath, Ponting and the Waughs we at least managed to win a test on those tours.  If our poorest teams could do this against Australia’s greatest then this team should be doing much better.

Ashes Humble Pie

A couple of years ago I was calling England the best team in the world and for a while they played as if they could be.  I should have known it couldn’t last, the history of the game tells us this but I went along with it because I’m a fan and I want to believe.  Now three days into the second Ashes Test match, what should have been obvious is suddenly blindingly so and in that light my foolishness can’t hide.  To be fair to myself I’ve been critical too in the recent past; I think Stokes is an excellent on field captain so in my mind the problem has to be the (other) Kiwi. Even so, had I made a prediction before this series I’d have gone for an England win but right now I’m thinking we’ll probably be 2-0 down by this time tomorrow.  I can tell myself the win may still be possible, we almost pulled it off before but I remind myself we should have won that series comfortably.  At this moment I’m not even sure I want England to come back, because that would mean Bazbollocks would be vindicated.  It’s like having too much booze, great fun right up until the point when the very thought of it makes you want to puke.  The anger comes from frustration, this time around England are/were very capable of beating Australia and this chance is being thrown away.  The truth is Bazbollocks has made us all look stupid, fans and team and I hope the coach feels this too.

The more I think about it the more England’s bizarre decision making becomes obvious to see.  Starting with the strange ‘out of nowhere’ selections, some like Bashir have worked to an extent but I still don’t rate him as highly as Leach.  Like Crawley, Bashir has been selected because the brains trust think he’s the right type of bowler for pitches down under, now we’re there he hasn’t played and Jacks was selected ahead of him because the batsmen keep fucking up.  Then there’s the Bethell situation which began about a year ago.  We’ve had a young, talented but unproven batsmen waiting in the wings, not playing cricket but putting pressure on another player just by being there.  Now he doesn’t look like being picked and he’s wasted a year of learning through playing.  The under pressure Pope just about clings to his spot and is rewarded by having the vice captaincy taken away and given to Brook.  Yes Harry has obvious talent but I’m starting to suspect this outstrips his intelligence.  Jamie Smith’s form started to slide in the second half of the India series but now his descent looks to be accelerating with both bat and crucially, gloves.  At the moment I can’t see him getting a run down under and if he keeps dropping catches the only player who can take the gloves is Pope.  Having Bethell bat at three suddenly seems a ridiculous idea and it’s hard to see how it ever looked like a good one.  Back to the bowlers, Josh Tongue looked a player this summer but for the end of that series and the beginning of this he’s been left out, meanwhile the more Carse bowls in Tests the more average he looks.  We shouldn’t forget that virtually the first move of the Bazbollocks Ashes strategy was to send England’s greatest bowler off into retirement.  How did we not recognise how disgraceful this was at the time?

Listen to me, the second test isn’t even done yet and here I am reacting like we’ve lost 5-0!  When I criticise an England player I want them to prove me wrong, I want them to make me eat my words!  Stokes and Jacks could defend and accumulate just like West Indies managed to do in New Zealand.  We might manage to set some kind of target and if we bowl well…  I’ve been here too many times before.  My final slice of humble pie concerns the Saffers who reacted in the right way to my slagging after the WTC by winning away in India and proving me wrong again.  I hope England get the message.

Ashes - Rarely have I been so furious

Where does the time go?  The Ashes series was weeks away then it was tonight and now the first test is over already and rarely have I been so fucking furious!  Over the two innings England batted like it was a white ball match in a dead series, it was absolutely piss poor.  England’s management claimed they thought 206 was enough runs?  That’s certainly not what I thought when I woke up and checked the score around 0700, I was thinking “well that’s fucked it then.”  It only takes one batsman to get in and make a decent score to chase down a total like that, as Travis Head showed.  Now England are hiding behind this (begrudging) great innings and using it as a reason for their defeat.  Just fuck off with that.  What is wrong with slowing the pace a bit, playing a proper test innings and giving the bowlers a rest?

England are a better team than Australia and if we continue to bowl like we did in the first innings we may well end up winning the series but why make it hard for ourselves?  Since 2011 no England team has entered the first test of an away Ashes series properly prepared.  When this was pointed out by several ex players the captain described them as “has beens…”  Arrogant.  The ex players have been proven right.  What were they thinking?  We all know that good practice is key, in Australia more than anywhere else because history tells us that!  But we go with the England flow because we want to believe.

There is an opportunity for some ‘pink ball’ practice coming up and from what I can gather England’s first XI won’t be playing?  Arrogant.  I’m happy to see the under pressure Ollie Pope get some runs in this match and genuinely hope he can be consistent enough to nail down a place in the team, even though I might not have picked him in the first place!  But Crawley whose place in the side is immovable has an average almost 5 runs lower than Pope.  In cricket, statistics are meaningful whatever England’s arrogant management may think, especially over 109 innings FFS!  Once again they are ignoring facts that have been proven repeatedly throughout the history of the game.

I think it is fair to say England have got themselves into a winning position in all six of the most recent Ashes matches yet have only won two of them and managed to lose three.  This would be easier to take if Australia had played well and wrenched the game away but no, England handed the initiative back which allowed the opposition to play well.  Fucking bazball.  Yes we get away with it against the lesser test nations but against the top teams England look fucking stupid and we’ve ended up drawing series we should have won.  Close games and exciting finishes are only enjoyable if your team is not on the losing side, give me Andrew Strauss’ team of winners over Stokes’ showman any time.  There I said it.

What a Test summer that was...

England 2 India 2, probably a fair result?  This series is already being hailed as the best since 2005 and I won’t argue with that, it has been brilliant with two top teams trading blows for six weeks.  Yes I’d say the best since 2005 but it wasn’t better, one thing it lacked was a world class spinner and the stakes could never be so high. But for fine margins India could have been 3-0 up after Lords and the statistics imply India were the better team.  Despite this I feel this is a series England should have won and would have done so had they planned better and got a few more of the basics right.

Dissection

Off the field – The selection of the top seven can’t be questioned, even if it should be.  To be fair all of the players chosen justified their selection at the very least and most had good a summer.  I do think we got it wrong in choosing the bowlers or more accurately the brains trust got the rotation wrong.  If someone had been rested for Manchester, we could have done without Overton at the Oval.  Also choosing Dawson when Bashir was injured seemed a good fit at the time but in hindsight Rehan Ahmed would have been a more BB selection.  He could be our next great all rounder.  One feature of the early years of the BB era was selection, England consistently selected the best XI.  For the last couple of years I don’t think they’ve got it quite right, starting with Bairstow in 2023.  To be fair I don’t think England have been able to select their best XI this summer but the same could be said of India.
What was going on with the pitches this year?  The first four suited India’s bowlers better than it did our own, did we try to beat them at their own game or was there no communication with the groundsmen?  We know bloody well that Australia would never serve up pitches that would suit the opposition.
Then there’s the bloody toss; We all know England like to chase but there will always be times when to do anything other than bat first is just fucking stupid or even arrogant.

On the field - England went into the summer telling us BB had been refined and they would change the pace when necessary. This was the case at Lords and we sneaked over the line but there was little sign of this at the Oval where we gave away too many poor wickets.
Injuries affected both sides but England suffered most, Stokes is irreplaceable as a player and captain but should he manage himself better?  I can’t believe England would have allowed India to score as many runs in the second innings at the Oval if Stokes had been on the field.  Pope may develop into a decent Test batsman but, like Root, he isn’t a captain.  In the same match, if Woakes had not fell awkwardly, England would have won comfortably.

Individually England’s players mostly done okay, Stokes showed super human all round brilliance again, then broke down once more.  There were times when for me his captaincy wasn’t at his usual standard, he allowed the game to drift more than I’ve seen before but on the whole he is still a damn good skipper.

As a unit it is difficult to fault the batsmen; Root, Brook, Duckett and Smith all scored big runs, the latter kept well throughout but his batting tailed off a bit.  Unfortunately Crawley and Pope showed once again that they are not quite good enough when it comes to Test Cricket.  As much as I may like them, their best days just don’t come around often enough.  I have no doubt they’ll both start the first Test this winter but that tour should be the end of the road if they don’t perform.

That Stokes was our best bowler says a great deal about him as a character but is also possibly a disappointing reflection on the rest of the attack? No, to be fair we were unable to select anything like our best attack at any time.  Josh Tongue done very well in his three matches as did Jofra in his two and Atkinson in one.  Carse tried hard but everyone would have expected more from him in the wickets column.  The same could be said of poor Woakes but I suspect injury robbed him of his best return of the series because the Oval would have suited him.  Finally I have to acknowledge that two of our players should really be playing for West indies and at least one other has a Saffer twang.

India 2025 are the most impressive touring team I’ve seen in many years with strength in every position and almost the whole squad has performed well this summer.  Rahul, Gill and Jadeja in particular have really impressed me but for me their man of the series was Siraj, this may be his finest hour and he deserves his success.  Bumrah is an excellent cricketer but I’m not having Michael bloody Vaughan’s ridiculous assertion that he’s the best seamer of all time, he’s not even top ten.  I think stamina and fitness must be considered, Malcolm Marshall never needed to miss a match for a rest and you could reasonably argue that Jasprit was out performed by Josh Tongue who also missed two tests.  Anyway, the series ended with me having maximum respect for this Indian team who are going to be difficult to beat home or away in the years to come.

Looking forward…
We have the small matter of an Ashes series down under coming up this winter and I can’t stop myself speculating about who will be on the plane.  Obviously if fit Ben Stokes will captain and bat at six.  Whatever reservations I may have about Crawley and to a lesser extent Pope, I think our first choice top seven is fixed.  Those two will be joined by the men who played all summer; Ducket, Root, Brook and Smith with Bethell as reserve.  This summer has shown exactly what our seam bowling reserves are like; Atkinson, Archer, Wood, Tongue and Carse are all safe picks if fit.  We’ll need a few spinners and I’d expect Bashir to be picked and I’d take Jack leach ahead of Dawson.  I’m going with a seventeen man squad so that leaves two places.  Rehan Ahmed has already been selected for his leg spin and his county form has been good with bat and ball.  There will always be a question mark over Stokes’ fitness, we may need another all rounder.  That leaves one space, Pope can keep if necessary means no need for a wickie so I think I’d go for another bowler.  Even if Woakes is fit I might not have selected him but changes down under (more to follow…) might make it his time?  If he’s not fit then… well it won’t be Ollie Robinson so if not Woakes then maybe Overton’s height and heart say it his way.

Strangely it seems the nature of Australian wickets has changed drastically in recent seasons, they’ve gone from true, fast scoring batting wickets to mean, green seamers almost over night.  The cynic in me (who me?) would conclude the colonials started planning for this series very early and they feel their best strength is their bowling?

Finally, is it going too far to say this Ashes series is make or break for some of the ever presents of the BB era?  Cricket is a game obsessed with statistics and most of these stats are highly relevant.  Those stats say that Crawley and Pope are not good enough at test level, if they don’t succeed in Australia then get the whetstone out.  I hate to say this but for how long can Stokes continue?  I think he has an eye on the WTC final but if things go bad down under will he still find motivation to keep going through the pain barrier?  Then there’s ‘Baz’ himself.  For all the obvious good he’s done for the team I’ve never really taken to him. It has to be said, as coach and as a player he’s won nothing of note so far.  I’ve previously argued that Manchester weather aside, off field decisions cost us the Ashes in 2023 and, well as I’ve said above, the same could be said for this summer series.

Squad – Stokes, Crawley, Duckett, Pope, Root, Brook, Smith, Bethall, Archer, Atkinson, Wood, Carse, Tongue, Bashir, Leach, Ahmed, Woakes/Overton