Sack the kiwi

Another away Ashes series has gone badly, we should be used to this by now but this one is feels particularly raw.  We were not beaten by a better team but by one that played smarter cricket.  The score line is irrelevant in a way, what really niggles is I put my faith and trust in the England set up, they were going to do things differently, their way and despite misgivings I believed there was a grand plan that would bring the Ashes home.  Two days into the series the penny dropped, my rose tinted specs shattered and I realised how naïve my thinking had been.  

I am a great believer in positive thinking but when it becomes delusional it is dangerous.  We are given the impression that Stokes & McCullum have been allowed to do what they want within the bubble of ‘the group’.  Somebody now needs to get a grip on things, the culture needs to change.  I have no problem with players having a drink but the stories that are starting to seep out go beyond just having a drink.  If these are only part true then for an international sports team the behaviour is simply unprofessional.  As a supporter I would describe my feelings as being badly let down, conned even.  Not so much by the players but by the management team that has allowed these things to happen, I mean actions before and during the series both on and off the field.  What the fuck were they thinking?  They’ve made idiots of themselves as well as people like me who wanted to believe in them.  My cricket addicted friends agree, we have a collective feeling of anger which must be even stronger for England’s travelling fans.  Especially those who had tickets for days three onwards at Melbourne.  It would not surprise me to see McCullum get a hostile reception around the grounds this summer, if he lasts that long.

After heaping the stinking pile of blame on to the management team Perhaps I shouldn’t be so critical of the players as it may transpire that many have been badly coached or advised.  They certainly weren’t prepared professionally for international sport and it’s looking like they weren’t even encouraged to look after themselves whilst on tour.

Top Marks - We know what Joe Root gives us, he is our greatest ever batsman and he delivered again with two tons, if he got in he stayed in.  The only other batsman to impress was Jacob Bethell who will be a fixture of the team for a long time to come.  Before the series we knew how good Archer could be and it was good to see him at his best again; threatening with the ball and effective with the bat.  Jofra is a cricketer of the highest class, lets hope he stays fit (even if he should really be playing for West Indies).  Going into the series Tongue was very much an unknown quantity, how would he handle Australia?  Bloody well it turns out even when we wasn’t captained particularly well. 

We know you can do better  -  Stokes didn’t have his best series with the bat nor was his captaincy as good as it should be.  Actually it was bloody poor at times but he bowled consistently well throughout the series although often at the wrong times.  He needs to answer questions about the team culture as much as his decision making but at his best he is still an excellent captain and a great cricketer.  Duckett was way below par but unlike Crawley his stats tell us he is a good player and he should continue at the top of the order.  I’d say the same about Atkinson who was not at his best but was unlucky on the field, unlucky to be left out for a match and unlucky to get injured.  Brook is infuriating, loads of talent but apparently short on brain cells.  His numbers on the tour aren’t bad but if he could have stayed at the crease for longer he could have won us matches.  It may turn out that his off field decision making had a major effect on his performances and he more than any other player demonstrates why we need a different approach from the management.  

Good luck/bad luck – Jacks didn’t dream he’d play four matches and did okay in the circumstances without giving the selectors a good reason to select him again.  As for Bashir, two years of planning, how did he not get a game down under and what does it say about the coach?  Maybe the Kiwi would like to explain what it was all about, it certainly hasn’t done the player any favours.  Poor old Mark Wood, if there’s one player we know will give his all when able he’s the man.  With another injury I doubt we’ll see him in tests again but I hope I’m wrong.

Go back to your county and try again – Pope has been living in the shadow of the gallows for years and the pressure inflicted by both the Australian team and England’s management cracked him.  He may well come back lower down the order but he needs to find his groove again.   Smith has shown he has talent in both of his roles but he has also shown he doesn’t yet have the mental toughness for test cricket.  Then there’s Crawley who scored a few runs and got out cheaply a few times.  A normal series then which has been enough to see him hang on to his place for the last four years but the numbers don’t add up and it is time to try someone else.

Just no! – Carse actually reminds me a lot of Merv Hughes but he doesn’t have the luck nor crucially the intelligence.  Why they kept on giving him the new ball is anyone’s guess, he’s not an opening bowler and if other players are fit he has no place in the team.  That he was our leading wicket taker leads to a load more awkward questions.  Potts has been unlucky throughout his stop/start career but I think we know he’s not quite good enough.
BAZ!  Where do I start?  For consistently failing to select the best XI since 2023, for being responsible for a totally unprofessional England team to tour Australia, for the gross mismanagement of Bashir/Leech, for the enforced retirement of Jimmy Anderson, for taking away accountability in the dressing room, for the arrogant lack of preparation, for not having the humility to admit he’s wrong.  For blowing a golden chance of winning in Australia, for trying to reinvent the fucking wheel, just fuck off you sheep shagger.  But the latest news is he’ll be hanging on to his job, so will surely have no choice but to make changes to England’s approach off the field and the personnel on it.

As for the Aussies well Starc and Head were the difference between the two teams and Carey was bloody impressive behind the stumps.  Smith talks bollocks at times but you have to respect him as a player and Labuschagne is simply a wanker.  Boland done well and it was nice to see Khawaja given the chance to say goodbye.  Nobody should be losing any sleep over the rest of them and England should have beaten this team.

We don’t have another test until New Zealand in early June and we must all hope for changes in the starting XI.  Crawley has to go and the best two openers in county cricket are Hameed and Sibley, both have been tried before but both have spent a few years playing regular first class cricket in successful teams and are better, more confident players for it.  If Smith is rested, as he should be, then Jordan Cox looks like he’s next inline as a wicket keeper/batsman but the best wickie in county cricket is still Ben Foakes.

Team for the first Test vs New Zealand in June;
Duckett, Hameed, Bethell, Root, Brook, Stokes (c), Foakes (w), Atkinson, Archer, Tongue, Leech