The Ginger Prince

Usually this kind of shit passes me by but it’s been hard to ignore in these slow news weeks.  The younger royals always seemed fairly human and this one in particular actually behaved like a normal teenager which was encouraging.  But since he got married I think the bloke’s behaved like a prize bellend.  It would be easy to blame the actress but whatever the truth this feud is not going to quietly go away, it’s going to keep bubbling up at intervals because it’s easy money for the former lizards.  They’ve complained about the press in the past and yes our printed media is a fucking disgrace but it is hard to be sympathetic when you see them now using the media for their own gain.  This might well end badly.

I should be laughing at the discord in the world’s most famous dysfunctional family but for some reason I find myself getting pissed off at the exiles.  This is the post truth era for sure and something about this farce stinks of bullshit, I just don’t believe them, I think they’re telling lies.  I have no wish to defend the Windsor’s but Ginge and the thespian have lost the plot.

Nightwood by Djuna Barnes

Described as one of the great novels of the twentieth century but I’d never heard of it.  A love story I suppose, orbiting around Robin whose point of view we don’t actually get.  Her story is told by the man and two women that are in love with her, all of whom are tortured by Robin’s indifference.  Their confidant is the doctor who kind of narrates the book in a barely decipherable way, which I found frustrating and irritating.  Brilliant writing or the emperor’s new suit? 

I suppose this book would have been shocking in its day and there is the germ of an interesting story there but I must be a philistine because I think it is over rated bollocks.

Nothing else matters

Another year done, gone before you know it, where did it go and what the fuck happened? 

2022 was a great year for distraction, while we were looking in horror in one direction, all kinds of shady shit was going on in the shadows.  In Britain this resulted in a lot of headlines concerning royalty.  The Ginger Prince and his ride were always grumbling about something, his dodgy uncle made bad news go away using a technique pioneered by Michael Jackson so the Jubilee came in the nick of time but left poor old Queenie feeling knackered.

The biggest news of the year was obviously the death of QE2, a graceful figurehead of a failing, out dated institution that sits atop a crumbling society.  This was an extremely difficult time for a passive Republican who literally didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.  In general the country mourned respectfully but the great British public still found time for outrage and argument.  Highlights included a Scottish chip shop being trashed after its owner appeared on social media celebrating Queenies demise (C’mon, that was beyond stupid).  Ex-serviceman proudly proclaimed “she was the best boss I ever had…” (You can tell yourself that but really you know it isn’t true.)  In London pilgrims undertook a ten mile hike to show their devotion but this was beset with claims of cheating and queue jumping.  Now we have a King with big ears and a pointed nose who looks like he should be pulling pints in a decrepit country pub.

Early in the year it all kicked off in Eastern Europe when a corrupt, fascist state was invaded by its larger neighbour, the prize as ever, is oil.  One CEO of an energy company was quoted saying “Just look over there, them bloody Russians!  Now bend over and brace yourself”.  Western governments were delighted as they were able to re-elect Putin as public enemy number one and the situation in Ukraine meant there was a scapegoat for all the worlds’ ills.  Basically leading politicians were given a free pass to do whatever the fuck they liked for the whole year but in a snowball of growing ineptitude they still managed to fuck it all up.  They tried to sway the stupid with “look at those bloody foreigners sneaking across the channel…” but this didn’t work for long.  Unfortunately the capitalists didn’t miss an open goal and cynically launched the cost of living into orbit while plunging the price of lives ever lower.

Somehow that cunt Johnson still couldn’t cling on to power, people could forgive 150k dead but when you throw a party and don’t invite them it puts their noses out of joint.  In times of crisis the Tory party always reverts to “every man for himself, throw the women and children under the bus” and to see our once proud leader being stabbed in the back, bravely cling to leadership then finally succumb brought tears of joy to many. 

With that cunt Johnson side lined politicians went on holiday for a few months while geriatrics and dribbling morons elected a new PM.  After weeks of discussions and working lunches where they nibbled at the food collected in their bibs, the Tory party elected Thick Lizzy who just had time to visit the Queen (whose health took a rapid and fatal turn for the worse) before unwittingly committing political suicide and vanishing from the face of the earth never to be seen again. The continued Tory policy of “chuck the captain overboard and the ship might just survive” did not go unnoticed.  The more cynical wondered if Thick Lizzy’s one job was to make the cunt Johnson look not quite so bad.  If this was the case then the jury is still out.

Now along with a new monarch we have to get used to another PM who since taking office has been hiding behind the sofa which is cramped and uncomfortable because that prick Starmer was already entrenched. Sometime soon, possibly next year, probably the one after, we get to choose between that pair of wankers.  There really is no hope… 

But away from all the grown up stuff the world of sport provided lots of excitement this year.  Heavyweight boxing got very interesting again, Fury and Usyk must fight then all questions should get answered.  In the national religion the England men’s football team played well and were damn unlucky.  The England women’s team who don’t earn a fraction were the real football superstars this year and honestly watching them win brought a lump to my throat.  They were class on the field and class off it, I find it much easier to relate to footballers who aren’t living a life of extreme privilege.  But the best footballer that ever played the game, bar none, died this year.

And Cricket, what the fuck did we just experience?  For the first half of the year England were a useless shower of shit, hammered by Australia and embarrassed by West Indies.  The failings were obvious to an armchair fanatic half a world away, how were things allowed to get so chaotic?  Let’s be kind and attribute it to Covid fall out.  Then the second half of the year we were unbelievably brilliant, winning nine out of ten with the whole team chipping in.  My brain is still trying to process what has happened since the start of the last English summer and there has been a lot written about the coach and the repugnant ‘bazball’ term but two things are clear to me.  The captain is brilliant and a once in a generation cricketer, the selectors – whoever they are – are picking the right teams.  Behind the scenes nobody is talking about Rob Key who has made some excellent decisions this year and should be feeling very happy indeed.  Oh yeah we won the T20 world cup too which makes England undisputed kings of white ball cricket, if you like that sort of thing.

I didn’t get to very much live music at all this year, I’m getting lazy.  But the Viagra Boys were excellent in London and Jools Holland in Norwich which was OK and I got to see the brilliant Ruby Turner sing once again.  The lady below won the Mercury prize this year, ‘…Introvert’ is a brilliant album and I’d like to see her perform in the near future.

In the real world where the majority of us live are we better or worse off than a year ago?  Obviously there’s a scary war, the price of every fucking thing has been hiked and we’re still in the midst of a global pandemic.  At source the real reason for this is the people who really rule the world are bleeding us all down to the bone and when the shit truly hits the fan most will already be dead and the survivors will hop on a rocket with Elon.

There must be some positives?  Well now that embarrassing cunt Johnson has gone the two party leaders whose names I can remember are both easy to ignore.  It makes a nice change to have news that is free from a PM behaving like an embarrassing bell end.  I know these people are puppets and it’s all meaningless so hopefully I might be able to abstain from all politics and not be dragged into the divide and conquer charade.  Ah fuck off, fuck it and fuck them. 

It’s all bollocks and its way beyond my pay grade anyway, what the fuck can you do except try to find humour in it all.  Spend time with your favourite people doing the things that you love, nothing else matters.  Happy New Year.