Mr Nice by Howard Marks

Read for the second time, twenty years after my first totally enjoyable ride on Mr Nice’s coattails I’m travelling the world first class with the world’s best Cannabis smuggler again but this time I have questions. 

Howard Marks portrays himself as a Robin Hood type figure, getting one over ‘the man’ by enabling the supply of a harmless recreational drug to millions of like minded souls.  This is what he told himself and I’m certain it is what he genuinely believed but he doesn’t hide his primary motivation which was to make himself very rich so he could live a high roller’s jet set lifestyle.  This contradicts the mentality of a stoner, this doesn’t go hand with the Robin Hood man of the people he claimed to be and the role he ultimately made a living playing following the publication of this book.  My cynicism probably stems from reading his final book, ’Mr Smiley’ which was very poor and nothing more than a cash grab though in the circumstances I can understand the reasons for it.

Mr Nice is certainly right in stating the laws prohibiting the trade and consumption of Marijuana are ridiculous but they are still laws and anyone choosing to break them knowingly will be considered criminals if caught.  These laws ‘controlling’ what the Establishment brands as ‘drugs’ are farcical and not even consistent across the world.  We may well ask why the same laws don’t apply to the trade and consumption of alcohol which is a truly destructive drug but we have to accept the current state of affairs.  It’s wrong but it’s just the way it is.    Marks freely admits to breaking these laws numerous times over many years so shouldn’t complain when the authorities finally catch up with him but he does, frequently throughout the last third of the book.  That’s karma bach. I have no ethical problem with the way Howard Marks made his money but I recognise his contradictions and note that he is a man prepared to break the law for his own gain.

We are told that in the ‘good old days’ when Marks started out the smugglers were educated, intelligent people, connoisseurs of the weed who were trying to provide a service.  It’s all portrayed as being a bit of a hoot, mostly harmless rich kids sneaking around playing cops and robbers.  Many of those involved may have done so knowing they were too well connected to get in any serious trouble.  The smugglers were Politicians, University graduates, the English upper class, i.e. the Establishment.  Over time ‘real criminals’; London hard men and ethnic gangs ousted the old boys’ network and it was then the business became more profit driven, cynical and occasionally bloodthirsty.  That the quality of the product dropped at this time is undisputed.  These days I suspect the dealing and shifting is still done by career criminals but the finance is still provided and reaped by the Establishment, nothing much has changed. There is mention of the ‘War on Drugs’, an emotive slogan used by naïve governments all around the world at various times.  Whenever and wherever the War on drugs has been fought, drugs always wins.

I have learnt that autobiographies cannot be wholly trusted, this is Howard Marks take on his thoughts and actions, he will naturally portray himself in the best possible light.  It occurred to me that if Howard Marks was as conscientious in his constant Marijuana consumption as he claims then how on earth can he still remember the minute details of deals done decades before he sat down to write the book?  Also the author freely admits to the web of elaborate lies he weaves in order to paint himself in a better light and fool juries.  We know he’s an accomplished liar, how can we trust his autobiography?

Whatever…  It really is an entertaining read, a good laugh at times even second time around with a more cynical mind, it’s full of interesting and amusing characters, luxurious exotic and squalid settings.  I still want Mr Nice to win, I want him to sneak the herb across the borders and receive his rich rewards, I wanted him to beat the man.  But he doesn’t do it too often and although I don’t believe there were many, if any innocent casualties from his actions, I don’t really think he was particularly nice.

PS.  Free the Weed.

The world is insane but at least we have cricket.

I haven’t had a rant for a while, is this because everything is tickety boo and harmonious in the world?  Nah is it fuck.  It’s hard to ignore the obvious, we are governed by a moron who is a proven liar, a published bigot, a criminal and all the usual stuff you can say about the fat cunt… and I’ll not dwell on energy providers making enormous profits while we are being expected to pay massive prices to stay warm in winter.  That’s what you get when the country votes for capitalism.

But what is particularly boiling my piss right now is celebrity trials.  I don’t mean I’ve suddenly become obsessed with the cult of celebrity and have become concerned about the Kardashian’s latest crisis.  I mean celebrities taking each other to court for nothing more than PR; firstly Johnny Depp and his ex wife arguing about who battered who.  I don’t fucking care and I definitely don’t consider it ‘news’.  Now there are two footballer’s wives who are in court disputing who slagged who off behind the other’s back.  Yes, two people whose only claim to fame is being spunk receptacles for international footballers are in court to decide who is the biggest bitch.  To borrow an expression from my kids, ‘How is this even a thing’?  That’s just the first of many questions, others include; who the fuck are these people?  When did falling out with someone become a crime worthy of trial?  How much does this shit cost and who is paying?  Are they so fucking arrogant that they think the rest of the world actually cares about their puerile squabbling?  At least we know the answer to that one. 

But summer is coming and there will be cricket!  A test series against the world Champion Kiwis begins in a couple of weeks, the visitors will be favourites but will England be rejuvenated by Ben Stokes captaincy and Brendan McCullum’s coaching?  England were always going to choose Stokes and I have a good feeling about this.  Picking the star all rounder to skipper the side may not have gone well in the past but he is a very different person to Botham and Flintoff.  But McCullum?  That one took me by surprise.  I think we know how he’ll want England to play but do the players have what it takes?  Then there’s Rob Key, another one I would never have seen coming but apparently he’s had a big influence at Kent since he retired though I can’t remember them winning a great deal.  I do like the squad they’ve picked though, Anderson and Broad had to come back because they are simply the best we have and the selectors taken notice of county form in going for the likes of Pope, Foakes, Brooks and Potts.  Oh and bloody Overton.  Whichever XI takes to the field New Zealand will give us a proper test and we’ll have a better idea of where England stand in the world of test cricket.