MCC & England. Both should be embarrassed

4^th June  Day one

Welcome back TMS and the voices of summer!  New Zealand won the toss and put England into bat under gloomy skies, to see our batsmen reduced to 55-5 was predictable and didn’t hurt as much as it should have.  NZ played and won a test match in Ireland last week so came to Lords in the groove while England’s players had played a few county games.  To see England bowled out for 140 was no surprise but to be fair NZ bowled really well and only Brook gave his wicket away but not until he’d played a typical innings of 56, although he was dropped twice along the way.  With less than forty overs bowled in the match, England were in deep shit again and it seemed all too familiar.

But Ollie Robinson bowled a superb opening over to leave NZ 2-3 and there was only one loose ball in his opening spell which was 6-3-10-4.  This is the player that hadn’t been picked for two years.  Atkinson and Tongue chipped in with wickets too and play finished with NZ on 61-6, England have a chance of a first innings lead which is insane.

Day two

England managed to bowl out New Zealand without too much fuss, Robinson got five and deserves his place on the hours board.  NZ were 113 all out so England finished with a lead of 27 and the second innings progressed slowly but surely passed 100.  Gay in his first Test reached fifty but when he was out with the score 126-3 it sparked a collapse to 126-7 and the game was swinging towards the southern hemisphere.  Together Smith and Atkinson steadied things and later Robinson chipped in and for the second day in a row England benefited from bad misses in the field.  Eventually all out for 226, England set NZ 254 to win the match.  Just like the first day, New Zealand had to start batting again after spending most of the day in the field, England had to make the new ball count.  With the score finishing on 36-3 and Williamson gone they just about did.  England on top but one decent partnership could swing it the other way.

Day three was a non event, a few overs bowled, a few runs scored and two wickets for Robinson put NZ even deeper in the shit.  Day four began with a New Zealand win possible if unlikely but any England nerves were settled by an Early Wicket for Tongue.  This was followed by NZ’s best partnership of the match which passed fifty before it was broken by Stokes.  Atkinson soon mopped up the tail to finish with five and England won by 115 runs.  In the context of this low scoring match the margin of victory amounts to a thrashing, England were better in every department, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to say that!

There was a lot of chat about the pitch which was very poor, not good enough for any first class cricket, let alone a Test match.  Thankfully it didn’t favour one side over the other, It was a fair and even contest but not a memorable game of cricket.  England go one up and will almost certainly name an unchanged side next week but we haven’t learned much about this ‘reset’ England team.  I have learned that I still care though.

Or do I?  Professional sportsmen, people given the one in a million chance to follow their wildest dreams and make a living doing something most of us can only wish we had the ability to do.  Sadly some of these fortunate people don’t have the intelligence to stay out of the fucking pub, morons.  What goes on in Stokes’ head?  He’s given us once in a lifetime performances on the cricket pitch but his after hours shenanigans have cropped up and got him into trouble before.  His attitude when interviewed during the most embarrassing Ashes series in living memory was arrogant and out of line.  Everyone needs to let off steam, fair enough but what are professional sportsmen doing in a night club in mid series?  But for off field decisions England could be ranked number one in the world and I’ve been critical of the Kiwi but is Stokes off field stupidity the real problem?  Is it him selecting players that have no business in test cricket?  That the captain doesn’t think a team curfew applies to him is completely wrong.  “Run towards adversity” they say but you get the impression this squad would run blindly towards a pride of hungry lions or swim a crocodile infested river.  Worryingly they’re in South Africa this winter…

Test Cricket Tomorrow!!!

The greatest sport of all returns tomorrow, England vs New Zealand at Lords but a showery week is forecast.  We’re stuck with the Kiwi so have to live with it and the on field personnel are mostly familiar.  I’d like to have seen a different keeper but Foakes has been injured though I doubt they’d have picked him anyway.  I hope Smith does well and stops all speculation.   As for the Kiwi, it’ll take more than a couple of home wins to convince me.

Crawley has gone which can be no surprise to anyone, replaced by somebody called Emilio Gay who has been going well in the championship, fair enough.  Otherwise the batting line up is the same although Smith and Stokes may swap places.  The bowlers are mostly familiar, Bashir is back (?!), good for him, I hope he does well.  Apparently Carse would have been in the squad but his injury opens the door for others.  Robinson is set to return from exile, at his best he’s as good as anyone we’ve got these days.  Josh Tongue should be an automatic choice now which leaves Gus Atkinson or the wild card Sonny Baker.  Apparently he’s fast but I’d leave him for later in the year and go with Gus.
New Zealand are a good, well drilled team with excellent batsmen and some bowlers we’ve not seen much of before.  England should expect to win every home series but have to be at their very best otherwise New Zealand could well win.  If England fail to win this series will anything change?

Lowest ebb

It’s difficult committing thoughts to virtual paper when you live in a world where the Israeli leadership has got the US and other western governments in a headlock thanks to evidence gathered via a paedophile ring by a Mossad agent.  In a sane world the previous sentence should be considered ludicrous and instantly dismissed as nonsense but in 2026 it could actually be true.  If Epstein was an agent then whatever Trump and co. are trying to hide is certainly known by Israel.  They also know what Mandelson was up not to mention randy Andy.  It would be nice to think that the truth, whatever that may be, will someday come out but we can’t even be confident that will happen.

Apparently the person widely regarded as the King is paying a state visit to the American idiot later this month.  That anyone thinks there is a shred of justification for this is further evidence of a warped reality but something we know for certain is Charles has plenty of form when it comes to associating with paedophiles.  If he goes to the US and sits down to dinner with Trump then he (and in the eyes of many, we) will slither down to a new low.  If there really is a valid reason for this meeting of two old millionaires then is it too much of a jump to think it must be a filthy secret?  I doubt we’ll ever know what it is.

There is theory and speculation which we can all have fun with then there are facts;
The president of the US is a criminal, a brazen liar, a bigot and a con man.  He should be in prison.
The Israeli leader has ordered a genocide, comparison with Hitler is justified and he should be on trial in Den Haag.
Successive British governments have remained silent in the face of crimes against humanity.

I think it’s fair to say that most people assumed humanity had reached its lowest point during the second world war but Israel and the US have this hindsight yet decided to wage war on mostly innocent people regardless.  Humanity’s lowest ebb is right now. 

Poison frogs and paedos. Tell me I'm not the only one seeing this stuff?

Writing stuff down, committing words to paper/screen/existence?  Whatever it is, it helps me to unravel the thoughts going through my head.  I try to ignore the insanity swirling around the world, the edited highlights presented to us as news but the bullshit seeps in, it’s impossible to stop.  Take yesterday, Saturday February 14^th, the headline said “Starmer says ‘Europe must be ready to fight’…”  Fight who?  Is this the proxy war going on in Ukraine?  Or is our latest corrupt prime minister just parroting what the yanks want to hear?  Spending more billions on ‘defence’ effectively means giving all that money to American corporations; the bully started threatening, Starmer and others caved in, the bully wins again.  This is tax payers money being handed over in the name of defending ourselves against an enemy but which enemy?  Who is he/they?  Where are they?  When our government tells us we have an enemy, few people question it let alone realise they are paying for it.

The other headline that caught my eye concerned the former Russian opposition leader Alexei Navalny, who died in prison in 2024. He was apparently killed by a toxin found only in Amazonian frogs and used in poison darts, so we’re told by ‘western sources’.  Is it true?  We know Putin is a murderer so it is possible, even likely. Of course Putin is the unnamed enemy that we are supposed to fear in order to justify giving billions to the US arms industry.  Yes we know Putin is a bad man but we also know there is a paedo in the white house (and that is listing just one of his known crimes,) so the timing of this Russian revelation is perfect for the western governments.  If the world is looking towards Moscow it gives Starmer and Trump a temporary respite from scrutiny over whole Epstein shitstorm.  Time to get their stories straight and plan for the next batch of E files; will they answer, counter, ignore or bury?

Just as we know what Putin is, we also know that Trump is worse.  Just having known about Epstein should be enough to see the tangerine Palpatine driven from office and in a fair world his involvement should see him locked up. If the yanks aren’t getting rid of him then it really isn’t our concern but what happens on the slightly saner side of the Atlantic absolutely is.  In the exposure of Mandleson’s friendship with a man he knew to be a sex criminal, another plot is being uncovered.  As someone who swings to the left politically, this one is grit in the eye.

Whatever people’s opinion of Jeremy Corbyn, history will record that under his leadership the Labour party reached record levels of membership.  He was a popular leader amongst the ordinary members and should have won the 2017 general election had it not been for sabotage within the Labour party structure.  Mandleson was quoted around this time as saying “I try to undermine Jeremy Corbyn every single day”.  With what went on afterwards we may conclude he did so with some success.

After the 2019 election Corbyn couldn’t survive as leader and Starmer was elected with on the back of Ten pledges that could have come from JC himself but these were all soon forgotten.  It seems that Mandleson was behind the scenes, pulling strings the whole time.  Starmer then consolidated his leadership, undermined the left of the party – left leaning prospective candidates were rejected in favour of Mandleson’s selections and his Lordship’s protégés were slotted into positions behind the scenes. Corbyn was expelled under the ludicrous charge of antisemitism that only the Murdoch fed herd took seriously.  I expect Mandleson as a Jew enjoyed that.  I don’t want to be using that kind of language because I understand the difference but there are things that cannot be left unsaid, so from here on, I’ll refer to him/them as Zionists should the need arise.

We currently live in a world where the state of Israel can commit genocide against the Palestinian people and go uncensored by most media outlets.  Our own government is guilty of aiding and abetting the Israeli murder machine and remaining silent when civilians are being slaughtered.  Just as Mandleson said nothing while young women were being trafficked, this Labour government has been silent while children have been murdered.  When I read that in 2024, thirteen out of the twenty five strong Labour cabinet received donations from pro-Israel lobbyists* I cannot help but be suspicious (*source- Declassified UK).  That’s right, this Labour government is being funded by Zionists.  This same Labour government criminalised protest in order to spare their Zionist friends from embarrassment but thankfully in a more welcome recent headline, this ban has been ruled unlawful.

What the fuck am I saying here?  That Mandleson was part of a conspiracy to create a political culture in which genocide was made possible?  Sounds daft when I put it like that but it happened whether it was deliberate or not.  Is this all part of a worldwide Zionist plot or is this another hysterical conclusion?  It is certainly not one I want to believe in but as the layers unpeel it’s hard to write things of as coincidence.  That the media regards Palestinian lives as less valuable than Ukrainian lives is undeniable, this is no accident, it is orchestrated, bought and paid for. When I first read that Epstein was a Mossad agent, I couldn’t take it seriously, surely this is a media creation but this unbelievable statement has a growing chunk of evidence behind it.  If this turns out to be true then how far does it go?  It doesn’t bare thinking about.

Poison frogs and Zionist paedo conspiracies.  Is this really happening or have the nineties caught up with me?  I'm not the only one seeing this stuff am I?

A rich man's paedophile ring.

Jeffery fucking Epstein.  Just in case you’ve been living in a cave for the last few years, Epstein was a billionaire “financier” (which I believe to mean con man) who courted the rich and famous.  His New York home and private island were the scenes of exclusive sex parties in which women, some of whom were underage and were sexually abused.  He served time in the US in 2008 – 2009 for trafficking underage girls yet still his friends, politicians and Royalty remained loyal to him.  He was arrested again and was being held in jail again when he died under mysterious circumstances.  At the time it was thought to be suicide but in the light of those now implicated, does anyone believe it was anything other than an assassination?  Whatever the truth I doubt we’ll ever get to the bottom of it.

Certainly there are a load of famous and influential people who would have breathed a sigh of relief at his demise and these same people have been keeping their mouths firmly shut ever since.  It is possible that these former friends of a known paedophile are themselves innocent of any wrong doing, unlikely but possible.  But even if we take that massive leap of faith, they are all guilty of silence and are therefore complicit.  This went on for years, young women were being exploited and many rich, powerful people knew about it.  When kids are being abused and people with knowledge stay silent then ‘law’ doesn’t come into it, they are guilty of something truly horrible. I'll call it what it is; a rich man's paedophile ring.

Obviously most of the guilty dwell west of the Atlantic on the insane side of the ocean, (not that we’re much better to be fair…)  The whole world knows Trump tells lies every time his mouth opens and the whole world knows he was involved with Epstein.  It turns out that many of Donny Paedo’s friends and associates were on good terms with Epstein, many of these still hold positions of power. Other names that would be familiar in the UK include Bill Clinton who we know is no stranger to a sex scandal, the evil emperor Elon Musk, and the man who sold the world Bill Gates.  From elsewhere also mentioned in the E files are former Israeli PM Ehud Barak and our own loveable self made man and grandson of a Viscount, Richard fucking Branson.  Of course Branson is not the only British subject under scrutiny for extreme lack of judgement when choosing friends.

Starting with the former HRH once ironically known a Randy Andy who is already in disgrace for his association via Epstein, with the under age Virginia Guiffre.  Andy always proclaims his innocence yet something compelled him to settle out of court in 2022 after being sued by Guiffre.  This after failing to convince the judge to dismiss the case.  Andy tried to get his personal security to smear Guiffre, to paint her in a bad light and so make himself look like some kind of victim.  Virginia Guiffre committed suicide in April 2025.  The latest batch of Epstein files implicate Andy further, a photo of him in a questionable position above an obviously under age female.  Still the bastard remains silent.

Randy Andy’s former wife, once known as Sarah Duchess of York has herself been forced to close her own charity and withdraw from association with others due to her own links to Epstein.  It is not suggested that she was involved with anything sleazy but she certainly remained in contact with Epstein after his initial conviction for trafficking.  It is hard to believe she didn’t know more than she has ever let on.  Will the lizard king bring pressure on little bruv to speak or will they all just stay silent and hope it blows over.  I know where I’d put my money.

Then we come to my own personal “favourite” Peter Mandleson AKA Lord Mandelson, described by Wiki as a “former British politician, lobbyist and diplomat”.  Alternatively, I might describe him as an example of everything that is wrong with modern British career politicians; self serving, duplicitous, lacking in moral conviction and ultimately corrupt.  Mandleson was one of the architects of New Labour and so betrayed the working class and the people who originally elected him.  His own personal dodgy dealings led to him having to resign his position twice whilst serving in Blair’s government and how many more did he get away with?  In recent times he betrayed the working class a second time by taking every opportunity to undermine Jeremy Corbyn’s leadership.  Whatever people think of Corbyn, he was twice democratically elected by Labour members and the party had it’s highest membership of modern times whilst he lead the party.  In sporting terms what Mandleson done is equivalent to deliberately playing to lose, leaving the stumps unguarded or scoring an own goal.  Perhaps the best comparison is Hansie Cronje.  There have been many occasions over the years when Mandleson has met with influential people; financiers and Russian oligarchs included, which constituted a clear conflict of interest.  In plain language, Mandleson was already known to be a dodgy fucker, yet still he was influential in Starmer’s government.  Then came the Epstein files.

As information was released and his association with Epstein became apparent, Mandleson was forced to resign once again, this time from his position as Ambassador to the US.  People will quickly forget when someone meets a dodgy Russian but a friend to a paedo is in the spotlight for life.  In recent days we’ve learned Epstein paid a large sum of money to Mandleson’s husband and now it seems Lord Peter forwarded internal government information to Epstein in 2009.  This took place whilst he was business secretary and after Epstein had been convicted of sex trafficking.  The government are currently working on legislation to strip Mandleson of his peerage but they shouldn’t stop there, this fucker should be going to prison.  However, although he will never redeem himself, the Peter formally known as Lord does have an opportunity to do the right thing.  Talk.  Tell people what you know, point the finger, name names, help bring the other guilty people to justice.  Help the victims.

From the depth and detail of the Epstein files it doesn’t take too great a leap of faith to conclude that the files were Jeffery’s insurance policy.  If he went down then he intended to take a whole load of powerful people down with him.  What has resulted is an international sex scandal with evidence of global corruption and the same powerful people are still colluding to limit the flow of information and investigation.  Compare this to the furore that erupted when Clinton spunked on a dress.

Sack the kiwi

Another away Ashes series has gone badly, we should be used to this by now but this one is feels particularly raw.  We were not beaten by a better team but by one that played smarter cricket.  The score line is irrelevant in a way, what really niggles is I put my faith and trust in the England set up, they were going to do things differently, their way and despite misgivings I believed there was a grand plan that would bring the Ashes home.  Two days into the series the penny dropped, my rose tinted specs shattered and I realised how naïve my thinking had been.  

I am a great believer in positive thinking but when it becomes delusional it is dangerous.  We are given the impression that Stokes & McCullum have been allowed to do what they want within the bubble of ‘the group’.  Somebody now needs to get a grip on things, the culture needs to change.  I have no problem with players having a drink but the stories that are starting to seep out go beyond just having a drink.  If these are only part true then for an international sports team the behaviour is simply unprofessional.  As a supporter I would describe my feelings as being badly let down, conned even.  Not so much by the players but by the management team that has allowed these things to happen, I mean actions before and during the series both on and off the field.  What the fuck were they thinking?  They’ve made idiots of themselves as well as people like me who wanted to believe in them.  My cricket addicted friends agree, we have a collective feeling of anger which must be even stronger for England’s travelling fans.  Especially those who had tickets for days three onwards at Melbourne.  It would not surprise me to see McCullum get a hostile reception around the grounds this summer, if he lasts that long.

After heaping the stinking pile of blame on to the management team Perhaps I shouldn’t be so critical of the players as it may transpire that many have been badly coached or advised.  They certainly weren’t prepared professionally for international sport and it’s looking like they weren’t even encouraged to look after themselves whilst on tour.

Top Marks - We know what Joe Root gives us, he is our greatest ever batsman and he delivered again with two tons, if he got in he stayed in.  The only other batsman to impress was Jacob Bethell who will be a fixture of the team for a long time to come.  Before the series we knew how good Archer could be and it was good to see him at his best again; threatening with the ball and effective with the bat.  Jofra is a cricketer of the highest class, lets hope he stays fit (even if he should really be playing for West Indies).  Going into the series Tongue was very much an unknown quantity, how would he handle Australia?  Bloody well it turns out even when we wasn’t captained particularly well. 

We know you can do better  -  Stokes didn’t have his best series with the bat nor was his captaincy as good as it should be.  Actually it was bloody poor at times but he bowled consistently well throughout the series although often at the wrong times.  He needs to answer questions about the team culture as much as his decision making but at his best he is still an excellent captain and a great cricketer.  Duckett was way below par but unlike Crawley his stats tell us he is a good player and he should continue at the top of the order.  I’d say the same about Atkinson who was not at his best but was unlucky on the field, unlucky to be left out for a match and unlucky to get injured.  Brook is infuriating, loads of talent but apparently short on brain cells.  His numbers on the tour aren’t bad but if he could have stayed at the crease for longer he could have won us matches.  It may turn out that his off field decision making had a major effect on his performances and he more than any other player demonstrates why we need a different approach from the management.  

Good luck/bad luck – Jacks didn’t dream he’d play four matches and did okay in the circumstances without giving the selectors a good reason to select him again.  As for Bashir, two years of planning, how did he not get a game down under and what does it say about the coach?  Maybe the Kiwi would like to explain what it was all about, it certainly hasn’t done the player any favours.  Poor old Mark Wood, if there’s one player we know will give his all when able he’s the man.  With another injury I doubt we’ll see him in tests again but I hope I’m wrong.

Go back to your county and try again – Pope has been living in the shadow of the gallows for years and the pressure inflicted by both the Australian team and England’s management cracked him.  He may well come back lower down the order but he needs to find his groove again.   Smith has shown he has talent in both of his roles but he has also shown he doesn’t yet have the mental toughness for test cricket.  Then there’s Crawley who scored a few runs and got out cheaply a few times.  A normal series then which has been enough to see him hang on to his place for the last four years but the numbers don’t add up and it is time to try someone else.

Just no! – Carse actually reminds me a lot of Merv Hughes but he doesn’t have the luck nor crucially the intelligence.  Why they kept on giving him the new ball is anyone’s guess, he’s not an opening bowler and if other players are fit he has no place in the team.  That he was our leading wicket taker leads to a load more awkward questions.  Potts has been unlucky throughout his stop/start career but I think we know he’s not quite good enough.
BAZ!  Where do I start?  For consistently failing to select the best XI since 2023, for being responsible for a totally unprofessional England team to tour Australia, for the gross mismanagement of Bashir/Leech, for the enforced retirement of Jimmy Anderson, for taking away accountability in the dressing room, for the arrogant lack of preparation, for not having the humility to admit he’s wrong.  For blowing a golden chance of winning in Australia, for trying to reinvent the fucking wheel, just fuck off you sheep shagger.  But the latest news is he’ll be hanging on to his job, so will surely have no choice but to make changes to England’s approach off the field and the personnel on it.

As for the Aussies well Starc and Head were the difference between the two teams and Carey was bloody impressive behind the stumps.  Smith talks bollocks at times but you have to respect him as a player and Labuschagne is simply a wanker.  Boland done well and it was nice to see Khawaja given the chance to say goodbye.  Nobody should be losing any sleep over the rest of them and England should have beaten this team.

We don’t have another test until New Zealand in early June and we must all hope for changes in the starting XI.  Crawley has to go and the best two openers in county cricket are Hameed and Sibley, both have been tried before but both have spent a few years playing regular first class cricket in successful teams and are better, more confident players for it.  If Smith is rested, as he should be, then Jordan Cox looks like he’s next inline as a wicket keeper/batsman but the best wickie in county cricket is still Ben Foakes.

Team for the first Test vs New Zealand in June;
Duckett, Hameed, Bethell, Root, Brook, Stokes (c), Foakes (w), Atkinson, Archer, Tongue, Leech

5th Test Sydney

The fifth and final test from Sydney and neither team picked a spinner on what has traditionally been the most productive pitch for slow bowling down under.  I’m not one for subtlety so I’m going to call cricket Australia out for pitch doctoring.  Before the great Shane Warne came along Sydney was the ONLY pitch that spun but within a few years they were ALL going sideways.  Now Oz has in Starc, Hazlewood and Cummins a damn good seam attack, none of the pitches are spinning much instead they now resemble strips from division two of the county championship in April.  CA know what they are doing, this is deliberate and in all honesty no different to any other part of the cricketing world, except perhaps England?  In which case more fool us, there’s nothing wrong with home advantage as long as it doesn’t become farce as it has done in Pakistan and India in the not so distant past.  This is where the match referee and pitch inspectors need to show some bollocks.

Anyway, England won the toss and batted first, as usual we threatened to dig ourselves into a deep whole but Root and Brook got in and made it count.  By the time bad weather curtailed play England had reached 211-3, a decent position if far from a dominant one but for once this winter I was actually looking forward to day two.  I should have known better, what happened next was predictable.  Brook got out playing a nothing shot, quickly followed by Stokes so I went to bed.
What I found when checking in the following morning was also predictable, Root got a big ton, Smith scored a few but got out to a stupid shot and England ended up probably 70 runs short.  England’s openers bowled badly allowing Australia to bat comfortably to the end of play and finished 166 -2.  Carthorse is not a test cricketer let alone an opening bowler.

I listened to the start of day three and it began okay but when Potts came on and started chucking pies again, then Head was badly dropped I’d heard enough.  When I picked things up again the following morning it was no surprise to see Oz had amassed over 500 runs and were in full control of the match with Head and bloody Smith both getting tons.  Day four started with the possibility of an innings defeat and things looked grim when Stokes went off injured but Tongue knocked a couple over and Aus weren’t able to do much more damage.  As usual I clicked the App in the morning with trepidation but what I saw had me saying “fucking hell” in a positive tone.  Bethell was 142 not out and England had a 119 run lead with two wickets left.  Further scrutiny revealed 40+ scores for Duckett and Brook along with a load of single figure scores.  How many more runs will we need to make a game of this?  Probably too many but at least we’ve lasted until the fifth day.

7^th January 2025, my last opportunity to listen to a bit of Ashes cricket from down under, although that four years seems to come around at an alarming rate these days.  I half expected us to be blown away quickly but Potts survived and Bethell nudged his way past 150 and the lead crept up.  When Bethell edged behind it was time to climb the stairs.  England set 150 odd which was a challenge Australia completed with 5 wickets left to take the match and the 4-1 series win.  Now let the inquiries begin and never have they been more necessary.