It was my birthday last week and I don’t like a fuss at the best of times so the purple princess popped out for a take away curry. Whilst she was waiting a woman walked in to order some food. She was dressed in a big coat, with a hat pulled down low and a scarf wrapped around her face. After placing her order she went out to wait in her car (a large 4WD of course)… So if she was so scared of catching something she felt the need to mummify herself against infection, it begs the question; just how fucking bad is her kitchen?
How the fuck did we end up here? Apparently it started in China sometime in November 2019 and was brought to the world’s attention on New Year ’s Eve. Well it is a slow time for news isn’t it? Another wild, scary disease in a foreign country? A couple of years ago it was Ebola, before that SARS or something? No drama.
But the story wouldn’t go away, simmering and bubbling without me paying much attention then fuck me the pot boiled over, people are fighting over bog roll in supermarkets and in parts of Europe people aren’t allowed to leave their homes. When I was a kid I’m sure Corona was a fizzy drink advertised by a Polar bear with a catchphrase then at some point it turned into a Spanish beer, now it’s going to change the world as we know it. The world has gone mad.
You see the problem I have stems from two undisputable facts that life has taught me; governments routinely lie and media organisations have their own agenda so can’t be trusted. This is especially true in times of crisis. We are not being told the whole truth here, to me that is unquestionable.
At the beginning of the week BoJo the clown announced in very English terms that we were all basically locked down. To be honest I was glad because normally I deal with the great unwashed on a daily basis and this was beginning to make me nervous. Two more days tidying loose ends behind closed doors and I’ve been housebound since Wednesday afternoon.
Bojo the Clown has been feted as a hero by the Proles on Facebook, compared to Churchill by one which is probably fair if you only focus on the latter’s pre WW2 record. But all the clown has done is read statements having consulted scientists. People are applauding the fact he has managed to do so without fucking up in an obvious way. This is how low we have come when a politician shows the merest competence he is applauded. If the clown had listened to the W.H.O. three weeks ago we might have avoided the inevitable body count.
A couple of days ago there was a nationwide round of applause for the NHS. I was with them in spirit but slightly embarrassed to admit I’d got the dinner timing wrong… I also resist following the crowd. Especially as half the people applauding voted for government that sends the NHS into battle under funded, under staffed and under equipped. Surely the British government wouldn’t do that? Oh yes they’ve done it before, another war in another theatre.
The following day Bojo the Clown and Hancock the village idiot both tested positive for the virus. They are a pair of cunts but I don’t wish them harm. The irony does amuse me though. I wonder how many people they’ve infected?
So I’ve read loads and written a little. I’m going through the shelves of CD’s and playing gems I’d almost forgotten. I’ve refilled the bird feeders but so far only spotted a grand total of eight species. I’ve escaped from my open prison on two occasions, it was easy. I went to the Co-op and bought milk, there was no bread or bog roll. I also went for a little drive, a circular route through local villages, to keep the car battery charged, that was my excuse at least. But apart from my good lady I haven’t been within two metres of another human in all this time. Even my children are in other houses for the time being; my daughter hasn’t left her home at Uni for over a week and my son is with his mother because after his college closed, for a while I was the biggest risk to him. That is a scary thought.
28th March 2020, it’s hard to get my head around the fact that I’ve been put on house arrest by a disease that is sweeping the world and killing thousands of people. It’s here in the UK and over a thousand people have died. Is this a Stephen King novel come to life? No it’s real, it’s happening and it’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better.
Anyway, here's a tune.