In already surreal times what a weird few days we’ve had. On Friday the country celebrated the 75th
anniversary of the defeat of fascism.
There was an irony in this situation.
We are being led by far right governments, fascism has been rebranded as
‘Neo-Liberal’ and our ‘greatest generation’ is sitting wide eyed in care homes,
waiting for an invisible enemy but this irony was lost. The people who lived through the war should
be applauded and celebrated but generally they are forgotten, just wheeled out
and displayed at times like this.
Then came the much anticipated speech. Apparently 26 million people watched BoJo the
Clown on Sunday, waving his arms about, spitting and waffling and saying… What exactly?
Yesterday we had smart arses on
social media saying “Well I understand…”
Implying you must be an idiot if you don’t.
Well wake up, most Brits are fucking idiots! How many people have to die before these indoctrinated
Tory lap dogs recognise the government has made a gigantic fuck up? If the clown was lining people up and
shooting them they’d say “well he’s relieving
the burden on the NHS…”
Monday’s Telegraph quoted BoJo the Clown saying we need to “Use good solid British common sense…” Jesus fucking bog flushing Christ! If ever there was a recipe for disaster it’s
relying on Brits to use their common sense.
The fucking British were holding fucking street parties on Friday! Two months ago they were panic buying bog
roll! Not frozen meals or tinned food,
fucking bog roll!!
“Well I understand…” They say.
Do you? Here have a fucking
medal. Ignore the fact that there is no
clarity, unlike the previous message; “Stay at home…” which was simple, obvious
and virtually idiot proof. What the fuck
does “Stay alert…” mean? Look out for a visible microscopic
thing? It might be lurking in the bushes
somewhere ready to strike. But I won’t
know because I can’t fucking see it! How
the fuck am I supposed to stay alert?
Alert for what? People coughing
in the street? The walking dead? Piles of bodies? Alert for people breaking the rules so I can
pick up the phone and contact the thought police? Actually Friday might have been the time for
that…
“Control the virus…” What?
How the fuck can I do that?
Actually I thought that is what I was doing by staying at home? Now I’m being told to go to work, surely I
can’t do both? Control the virus! Most Brit’s can’t even control their fucking
dogs! I’m having a good day if I can
control my fucking bladder!
At least the “Save
Lives” part is unchanged, this part is pretty clear. At least it is until you put it after “Stay
alert, Control the virus”. Somebody
somewhere got paid to come up with this bollocks, presumably someone working
from home who was halfway through a bottle of cheap gin.
It’s been almost forgotten amongst the ensuing confusion but
early on in the clown’s performance he uttered something along the lines of
thirty thousand deaths being “apparent success…” What the fuck? Is this the first time in history that ‘thirty
thousand deaths’ and ‘success’ have been used in the same sentence? The question almost asks itself, how many
have to die…?
Anyway congratulations to the one eyed Tories on being able
to understand a message which has already been contradicted. On Sunday it was, “Go to work tomorrow…” Then Monday,
Adolf Raab says “No he meant Wednesday…” Well if I’d have gone to work Monday it would
have been too fucking late! This was a
pre-recorded speech for fuck sake! How
can a man with the most expensive education there is, fuck up a message in a
pre-recorded speech? You couldn’t make
this shit up!
If you can’t work from home then you should go to work. OK… So if you are desk bound with limited
contact to other people in your work place you’ll be staying at home but if you
do a job which involves contact with the public you should go to work… Fucking genius!
Public transport will be running but don’t use it unless you
really have to. We don’t want loads of
people crowded onto a bus or a train do we?
What about the fucking driver?
Yes its better all round if there are lots of empty buses trundling up
and down the streets, that will make sense.
So as I understand it I can’t spend time with family members
who I know and trust from one or two other households but I could be asked to
go to work with people from four or five other households that I can’t
necessarily trust to have been doing the right things over the last few weeks. While I’m working I could be in interacting
with people who could have come from literally anywhere and done anything. Yes I understand alright, I’m part of the
fucking herd.
Just as the government ignored the warnings from Italy and
Spain and did fuck all to prevent all this carnage they are also ignoring the
warnings from Germany and South Korea which have seen sudden rises in infection
rates since relaxing their restrictions.
The rest of the world is looking at the UK and US, shaking
their heads and wondering “what the hell are they up to?” While we Anglo Saxons with our inherited
arrogance strut around puffing out our patriotic chests and prepare to saddle
up and ride into the valley of death. We
don’t care what those bloody Europeans think do we? Our mates across the Atlantic know what they
are doing! With Trump and BoJo we’ll be
alright!? No, we couldn’t possibly have two more
unsuitable “leaders” at a time like this, in any other era they would have been
declared unfit for office. We are all
fucked.
Cheerful fucker ain’t I?
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