It's here oh blessed relief! The collective madness has peaked, the annual festival of spending is nearly over and we are sliding helplessly into what all the bloody fuss is about, Xmas day. Now you can't guarantee everything will be rosy but you can be sure that things will start to return to normal. After the sales, which I won't go near anyway (actually shouldn't natural selection have sorted these fuckers out by now?) and New year. As this is the most overrated night and day on the calendar it makes sense to get it over with right away. But after all that shite things will get back to normal. Yes we're going back to work and it'll probably be bloody cold but the days will be gradually getting longer and spring will be hear before you know it.
No carols, no Noddy, no Wizard, no fucking Wham. Play these instead, loud.
OK I'm going soft for a second. This is a brilliant song, written by a drunken genius and co-sung by an angel who was tragically and ironically killed at Xmas. It should not be classed as a Xmas song, its a musical story that just happens to be set at Xmas. None of which will stop shark like music business execs from cashing in year after year but what the hell.
Having endured the hellish first three weeks of December, having spent far too much money then followed this with hours of preparation; clogging the house with decorations, peeling veg and stuffing the fucking turkey for the most overrated meal of the year... The day itself should be perfect but it rarely is.
Xmas presents; Socks, deodorant gift packs and loads of total cack that will be in a charity shop by January. That's not what we want is it? Xmas presents should be easy...
I'm lucky that I enjoy being around my family and being in an overcrowded house full of relatives isn't a nightmare for me. However I know there are families out there that can barely tolerate the sight of each other.
Whatever happens, overindulgence is impossible to avoid. Painkillers required for mind, body and soul.
Sorry kids but Santa can't make it this year because he's a lazy fat bastard, either that or he doesn't fucking exist, you decide. Don't worry though, we've lined up a replacement to slip down your chimney. Don't have nightmares.
I have my punk obsessed friend Giles to thank for finding this mad masterpiece. You just have to love the sentiment.
When all the bollocks and bullshit is booted aside, this is what Xmas should really be about. Sing it loud, "Come together, as one..." Have a happy one.