Cricket but not as we know it

The Boxing day Test, essential listening (or viewing at times) at the end of Christmas day.  Sitting  there half pissed hoping to hear England do well.  In 2010 it was wonderful, glorious but every other time it’s been grim.  Tonight it started steady, Atkinson kept things tight but at the other end…  Is Carse short for carthorse?  Gus struck and the Aussies got stuck.  Tongue came on at the other end and nipped two out in no time.  A good time to go to bed but by the time I’d tidied up, brushed me teeth and climbed the stairs he’d nipped Smith out too!  That’ll do nicely thanks Father Xmas.

The following morning one of the first things I done after regaining consciousness was click on the Cricinfo app, I shouldn’t have been surprised.  This time they’re blaming the pitch and they may have a point but it makes no difference.  As bad as the scorecard looks, unbelievably England are not yet out of it so I’ll tune in again this evening, I wonder what will be happening by the time I go to bed… 

Things were tight and a couple of wickets fell before I went upstairs but when I woke the following morning I was in no hurry to check the score.  I assumed things would be grim so when I saw the score my jaw dropped and I nearly dropped me mug of tea.  England won by four wickets with Bethell top scoring and Carthorse took four wickets.  It’s good to be proved wrong.  The first win down under in fifteen years which is great but that just makes me even more frustrated!!  We should have won in Perth which would have immediately shifted the pressure onto the Aussies and then who knows what would have happened?  At worst we’d have been going to the SCG at 2-2 and my money would have been on an away win.  

But I'll allow myself this rare pleasure of celebrating a Test win down under, outside the winning series in 1986 and 2010 I think that's just the fourth time i can remember, making only nine in total. I think England can and will win a tenth next week which would make the score look respectable and arguably show we could/should have won this series.  If only they’d had not taken the preparation for granted.

Ashes, agonising and antagnonising

A few days ago the result that seemed a formality after day two in Perth was confirmed so putting us out of our misery, until the next time.  England did show a little fight this time but not until the game was as good as gone.  England have had the players to be competitive this time which is what makes this latest thrashing so frustrating.  At least the coach has shown some humility in the aftermath but he’ll need to answer some serious questions around planning, preparation and selection.

I still think England can win a match or two on this tour but our chances will not be helped by injury to Jofra, who has probably been our best player to this point.  This means Carse gets to play another Test match or two which should be his last because nothing he’s done since becoming ever present in the side merits repeated selection.  Ollie Pope has finally been put out of his misery so can look forward to finding his groove with Surrey next summer, he is good enough to come back again just not at three.  Predictably Jacob Bethell, who has played virtually no cricket this year replaces him but as far as runs on the scoresheet goes, I doubt we’ll see much change.  Like the great Jacques Kallis, Ben Stokes should bat at three.  Nobody in the squad has a better technique and it could set the tone for the batsmen that follow.  Also Will Jacks retains his place which means England won’t have any control from the spin option and we wonder WTF has the whole Bashir thing been about?  No one will be pondering this more than Jack Leach.

Despite all of this I still think if England can make a big first innings score at the MCG we can control the game and go on to win.  Even in the era of Warne, McGrath, Ponting and the Waughs we at least managed to win a test on those tours.  If our poorest teams could do this against Australia’s greatest then this team should be doing much better.

Ashes Humble Pie

A couple of years ago I was calling England the best team in the world and for a while they played as if they could be.  I should have known it couldn’t last, the history of the game tells us this but I went along with it because I’m a fan and I want to believe.  Now three days into the second Ashes Test match, what should have been obvious is suddenly blindingly so and in that light my foolishness can’t hide.  To be fair to myself I’ve been critical too in the recent past; I think Stokes is an excellent on field captain so in my mind the problem has to be the (other) Kiwi. Even so, had I made a prediction before this series I’d have gone for an England win but right now I’m thinking we’ll probably be 2-0 down by this time tomorrow.  I can tell myself the win may still be possible, we almost pulled it off before but I remind myself we should have won that series comfortably.  At this moment I’m not even sure I want England to come back, because that would mean Bazbollocks would be vindicated.  It’s like having too much booze, great fun right up until the point when the very thought of it makes you want to puke.  The anger comes from frustration, this time around England are/were very capable of beating Australia and this chance is being thrown away.  The truth is Bazbollocks has made us all look stupid, fans and team and I hope the coach feels this too.

The more I think about it the more England’s bizarre decision making becomes obvious to see.  Starting with the strange ‘out of nowhere’ selections, some like Bashir have worked to an extent but I still don’t rate him as highly as Leach.  Like Crawley, Bashir has been selected because the brains trust think he’s the right type of bowler for pitches down under, now we’re there he hasn’t played and Jacks was selected ahead of him because the batsmen keep fucking up.  Then there’s the Bethell situation which began about a year ago.  We’ve had a young, talented but unproven batsmen waiting in the wings, not playing cricket but putting pressure on another player just by being there.  Now he doesn’t look like being picked and he’s wasted a year of learning through playing.  The under pressure Pope just about clings to his spot and is rewarded by having the vice captaincy taken away and given to Brook.  Yes Harry has obvious talent but I’m starting to suspect this outstrips his intelligence.  Jamie Smith’s form started to slide in the second half of the India series but now his descent looks to be accelerating with both bat and crucially, gloves.  At the moment I can’t see him getting a run down under and if he keeps dropping catches the only player who can take the gloves is Pope.  Having Bethell bat at three suddenly seems a ridiculous idea and it’s hard to see how it ever looked like a good one.  Back to the bowlers, Josh Tongue looked a player this summer but for the end of that series and the beginning of this he’s been left out, meanwhile the more Carse bowls in Tests the more average he looks.  We shouldn’t forget that virtually the first move of the Bazbollocks Ashes strategy was to send England’s greatest bowler off into retirement.  How did we not recognise how disgraceful this was at the time?

Listen to me, the second test isn’t even done yet and here I am reacting like we’ve lost 5-0!  When I criticise an England player I want them to prove me wrong, I want them to make me eat my words!  Stokes and Jacks could defend and accumulate just like West Indies managed to do in New Zealand.  We might manage to set some kind of target and if we bowl well…  I’ve been here too many times before.  My final slice of humble pie concerns the Saffers who reacted in the right way to my slagging after the WTC by winning away in India and proving me wrong again.  I hope England get the message.

Ashes - Rarely have I been so furious

Where does the time go?  The Ashes series was weeks away then it was tonight and now the first test is over already and rarely have I been so fucking furious!  Over the two innings England batted like it was a white ball match in a dead series, it was absolutely piss poor.  England’s management claimed they thought 206 was enough runs?  That’s certainly not what I thought when I woke up and checked the score around 0700, I was thinking “well that’s fucked it then.”  It only takes one batsman to get in and make a decent score to chase down a total like that, as Travis Head showed.  Now England are hiding behind this (begrudging) great innings and using it as a reason for their defeat.  Just fuck off with that.  What is wrong with slowing the pace a bit, playing a proper test innings and giving the bowlers a rest?

England are a better team than Australia and if we continue to bowl like we did in the first innings we may well end up winning the series but why make it hard for ourselves?  Since 2011 no England team has entered the first test of an away Ashes series properly prepared.  When this was pointed out by several ex players the captain described them as “has beens…”  Arrogant.  The ex players have been proven right.  What were they thinking?  We all know that good practice is key, in Australia more than anywhere else because history tells us that!  But we go with the England flow because we want to believe.

There is an opportunity for some ‘pink ball’ practice coming up and from what I can gather England’s first XI won’t be playing?  Arrogant.  I’m happy to see the under pressure Ollie Pope get some runs in this match and genuinely hope he can be consistent enough to nail down a place in the team, even though I might not have picked him in the first place!  But Crawley whose place in the side is immovable has an average almost 5 runs lower than Pope.  In cricket, statistics are meaningful whatever England’s arrogant management may think, especially over 109 innings FFS!  Once again they are ignoring facts that have been proven repeatedly throughout the history of the game.

I think it is fair to say England have got themselves into a winning position in all six of the most recent Ashes matches yet have only won two of them and managed to lose three.  This would be easier to take if Australia had played well and wrenched the game away but no, England handed the initiative back which allowed the opposition to play well.  Fucking bazball.  Yes we get away with it against the lesser test nations but against the top teams England look fucking stupid and we’ve ended up drawing series we should have won.  Close games and exciting finishes are only enjoyable if your team is not on the losing side, give me Andrew Strauss’ team of winners over Stokes’ showman any time.  There I said it.

What a Test summer that was...

England 2 India 2, probably a fair result?  This series is already being hailed as the best since 2005 and I won’t argue with that, it has been brilliant with two top teams trading blows for six weeks.  Yes I’d say the best since 2005 but it wasn’t better, one thing it lacked was a world class spinner and the stakes could never be so high. But for fine margins India could have been 3-0 up after Lords and the statistics imply India were the better team.  Despite this I feel this is a series England should have won and would have done so had they planned better and got a few more of the basics right.

Dissection

Off the field – The selection of the top seven can’t be questioned, even if it should be.  To be fair all of the players chosen justified their selection at the very least and most had good a summer.  I do think we got it wrong in choosing the bowlers or more accurately the brains trust got the rotation wrong.  If someone had been rested for Manchester, we could have done without Overton at the Oval.  Also choosing Dawson when Bashir was injured seemed a good fit at the time but in hindsight Rehan Ahmed would have been a more BB selection.  He could be our next great all rounder.  One feature of the early years of the BB era was selection, England consistently selected the best XI.  For the last couple of years I don’t think they’ve got it quite right, starting with Bairstow in 2023.  To be fair I don’t think England have been able to select their best XI this summer but the same could be said of India.
What was going on with the pitches this year?  The first four suited India’s bowlers better than it did our own, did we try to beat them at their own game or was there no communication with the groundsmen?  We know bloody well that Australia would never serve up pitches that would suit the opposition.
Then there’s the bloody toss; We all know England like to chase but there will always be times when to do anything other than bat first is just fucking stupid or even arrogant.

On the field - England went into the summer telling us BB had been refined and they would change the pace when necessary. This was the case at Lords and we sneaked over the line but there was little sign of this at the Oval where we gave away too many poor wickets.
Injuries affected both sides but England suffered most, Stokes is irreplaceable as a player and captain but should he manage himself better?  I can’t believe England would have allowed India to score as many runs in the second innings at the Oval if Stokes had been on the field.  Pope may develop into a decent Test batsman but, like Root, he isn’t a captain.  In the same match, if Woakes had not fell awkwardly, England would have won comfortably.

Individually England’s players mostly done okay, Stokes showed super human all round brilliance again, then broke down once more.  There were times when for me his captaincy wasn’t at his usual standard, he allowed the game to drift more than I’ve seen before but on the whole he is still a damn good skipper.

As a unit it is difficult to fault the batsmen; Root, Brook, Duckett and Smith all scored big runs, the latter kept well throughout but his batting tailed off a bit.  Unfortunately Crawley and Pope showed once again that they are not quite good enough when it comes to Test Cricket.  As much as I may like them, their best days just don’t come around often enough.  I have no doubt they’ll both start the first Test this winter but that tour should be the end of the road if they don’t perform.

That Stokes was our best bowler says a great deal about him as a character but is also possibly a disappointing reflection on the rest of the attack? No, to be fair we were unable to select anything like our best attack at any time.  Josh Tongue done very well in his three matches as did Jofra in his two and Atkinson in one.  Carse tried hard but everyone would have expected more from him in the wickets column.  The same could be said of poor Woakes but I suspect injury robbed him of his best return of the series because the Oval would have suited him.  Finally I have to acknowledge that two of our players should really be playing for West indies and at least one other has a Saffer twang.

India 2025 are the most impressive touring team I’ve seen in many years with strength in every position and almost the whole squad has performed well this summer.  Rahul, Gill and Jadeja in particular have really impressed me but for me their man of the series was Siraj, this may be his finest hour and he deserves his success.  Bumrah is an excellent cricketer but I’m not having Michael bloody Vaughan’s ridiculous assertion that he’s the best seamer of all time, he’s not even top ten.  I think stamina and fitness must be considered, Malcolm Marshall never needed to miss a match for a rest and you could reasonably argue that Jasprit was out performed by Josh Tongue who also missed two tests.  Anyway, the series ended with me having maximum respect for this Indian team who are going to be difficult to beat home or away in the years to come.

Looking forward…
We have the small matter of an Ashes series down under coming up this winter and I can’t stop myself speculating about who will be on the plane.  Obviously if fit Ben Stokes will captain and bat at six.  Whatever reservations I may have about Crawley and to a lesser extent Pope, I think our first choice top seven is fixed.  Those two will be joined by the men who played all summer; Ducket, Root, Brook and Smith with Bethell as reserve.  This summer has shown exactly what our seam bowling reserves are like; Atkinson, Archer, Wood, Tongue and Carse are all safe picks if fit.  We’ll need a few spinners and I’d expect Bashir to be picked and I’d take Jack leach ahead of Dawson.  I’m going with a seventeen man squad so that leaves two places.  Rehan Ahmed has already been selected for his leg spin and his county form has been good with bat and ball.  There will always be a question mark over Stokes’ fitness, we may need another all rounder.  That leaves one space, Pope can keep if necessary means no need for a wickie so I think I’d go for another bowler.  Even if Woakes is fit I might not have selected him but changes down under (more to follow…) might make it his time?  If he’s not fit then… well it won’t be Ollie Robinson so if not Woakes then maybe Overton’s height and heart say it his way.

Strangely it seems the nature of Australian wickets has changed drastically in recent seasons, they’ve gone from true, fast scoring batting wickets to mean, green seamers almost over night.  The cynic in me (who me?) would conclude the colonials started planning for this series very early and they feel their best strength is their bowling?

Finally, is it going too far to say this Ashes series is make or break for some of the ever presents of the BB era?  Cricket is a game obsessed with statistics and most of these stats are highly relevant.  Those stats say that Crawley and Pope are not good enough at test level, if they don’t succeed in Australia then get the whetstone out.  I hate to say this but for how long can Stokes continue?  I think he has an eye on the WTC final but if things go bad down under will he still find motivation to keep going through the pain barrier?  Then there’s ‘Baz’ himself.  For all the obvious good he’s done for the team I’ve never really taken to him. It has to be said, as coach and as a player he’s won nothing of note so far.  I’ve previously argued that Manchester weather aside, off field decisions cost us the Ashes in 2023 and, well as I’ve said above, the same could be said for this summer series.

Squad – Stokes, Crawley, Duckett, Pope, Root, Brook, Smith, Bethall, Archer, Atkinson, Wood, Carse, Tongue, Bashir, Leach, Ahmed, Woakes/Overton

An Oval classic

 

The final Test of the summer and it’s not even August (quite) yet.  England had to make changes, Stokes was injured so Pope would captain and Bethell came in at six, his part time off spin meant Dawson would have to step aside to allow four seam bowlers to be selected.  Woakes played again but joined by Tongue, Atkinson and Overton, the latter two coming back from injury, would they be ready?  For India Pant was injured, Bumrah dropped out, Deep came back and Nair found a way back in too.

Day one was gloomy with rain at times, Pope won the Toss and nobody questioned his decision to bowl first.  It was a funny old day with England’s revamped attack bowling some absolute garbage mixed with some unplayable balls.  Woakes took the first wicket Atkinson looked good and took two whilst Overton and Tongue were wayward although the latter snared a couple.  The brilliant Gill had a brain fart and ran himself out and the day finished fairly even with India 204-6.  But the balance may have been shifted by a bad injury to Woakes who would not be able to take any more part in the match, England would be a bowler light.

The second day began in similar conditions and the first session might have been England’s best of the summer.  Tongue broke through early and Atkinson polished off the tail to finish with five and India only added twenty runs.  Next Crawley and Duckett blazed away and England reached lunch at 92-1 and I was thinking ‘carry on like this and the series will be ours’.  Unfortunately the rest of the day saw some of England’s poorest cricket of the year and was frustrating listening.  Good bowling combined with a few daft shots and we were all out for 247, a slender lead which India soon over hauled this with Jaiswal counter attacking and England dropping catches.  The day finished with India leading by 52 runs with eight wickets left and probably slightly ahead in the game.  I couldn’t help feeling England had messed up big time today.

The next morning things went from bad to worse with more dropped catches, Jaiswal completed a ton and even the bloody night watchman got a half century.  India’s final innings of the series saw possibly England’s worst performance in the field in living memory.  In the fourth test the wheels threatened to come off for India but today they did come off for England.  Wickets did fall from time to time – Tongue finished for 5 for - but not often enough to prevent another fifty plus score from the brilliant Jadeja, Sundar slogged a few too many and England were set a target of 374.  This was how we started the series, trying to chase a 370+ score to win a Test match.  Six weeks ago I was confident we could do it but that was not the case today.  The openers started steadily and progressed to another fifty opening stand but no further!  Siraj removed the permanently inconsistent Crawley with the last ball of the day.

The fourth day and almost certainly the final one of the series.  Duckett nudged his way to fifty but didn’t go on, Pope got in and then out again as we see way too often.  But then Root and Brook came out after lunch and just batted sublimely pretty much all afternoon.  It was brilliant, both got hundreds and I almost relaxed but India roared back, dislodging both centurions and Bethell who looked like he knew he was out of his depth.  India were on top again but a sharp shower saw the players leave the field and there wasn’t time to get play started again today.  At the finish England needed 35 runs, India 4 wickets, assuming Woakes will have a go.  So we will have a fifth day as we have in every other Test match this brilliant series and going into it I was thinking it would be great if we had a tied Test match.

Who would believe an hour of this sedate and elegant game could render me a shaking, dribbling, stuttering mess?  Anyone who understands fine art at its pinnacle, or as we call it Test cricket.  In the final innings of the season England couldn’t win, then they couldn’t lose, then in the last two sessions they messed it up.  It may be harsh but in my opinion a couple of them bottled it, but they’ll come back stronger.  Chris Woakes didn’t bottle it, what a bloke and what a moment.  I hope it isn’t his last act in an England shirt but I fear.  India, led by the brilliant Siraj, took the four wickets they needed to win the match and level the series but make no mistake, England should have won this match.  Now the initial disappointment has settled I don’t begrudge India this win I just feel happy to have witnessed five excellent Test matches played by the best two teams in the world.  There'll be a bit more on that subject once I've got my breath back.

Old Trafford

The fourth test from Old Trafford, England made just the one enforced change, I expected the bowling to have been freshened up a bit more?  India shuffled the pack again but crucially Bumrah lead the attack.  England won the toss and bloody bowled again!!  But they did bowl really well without luck and India started sensibly with the bat and by lunch no wickets had fallen, I had that sinking feeling.  After lunch things got a little better with a couple of wickets and India could never score freely.  The day was curtailed by bad light with India 264/4 and with a bad injury to Pant maybe honours even?  I was looking forward to the start the next day’s play already.

A gloomy day two, England needed wickets and Jofra got one early but the Indian batsmen were difficult to dislodge before lunch at which point things were still well balanced.  Pant came out and had a go, India weren’t scoring quickly enough to worry England.  After lunch Archer and Stokes combined to bowl India out, the last five wickets fell for 44 runs and the captain took his first 5 wicket haul for a very long time.  India had finished on 358 which was probably the kind of total England had in mind when we put them in at Birmingham.  How good this total actually was wouldn’t become evident until England had batted and they did so under clearing skies.  The opening stand of 166 seemed to suggest India hadn’t got enough.  Duckett and Crawley both fell a few runs short of a ton but England lost no more wickets to finish the day in control on 225/2.  For the fan one of the more comfortable days of Test Cricket this year.

The third day was as close to easy listening as it gets for an England supporter.  Apart from a few minutes after lunch when a couple of wickets fell and it was possible that maybe the door might open for India.  The rest of the day England just accumulated runs and put overs into the Indian bowlers legs.  Five of the top six passed seventy with Root making 150 and we finished with Stokes 77 not out.  Brook played another terrible shot and will hopefully learn his lesson.  India had their worst day of the tour, with the wheels if not coming off, definitely starting to wobble.  In fact, starting with the toss, the first three days of this match have gone how I and presumably the England team, expected Edgbaston would.  At the end of the day England lead by 186 runs with three wickets in hand.

Saturday started with a bang, England pushed on, led by Stokes who made 141 we were finally all out for 669, a 300+ lead.  There was time for a couple of overs before lunch and Woakes hit them with a double wicket maiden!  I was thinking we’ll win this today.  But Rahul and Gill got together and stayed together and ground it out with an old school Test partnership and the day fizzled out for this England fan.  But well played India 174/2 at the close, I didn’t see that coming.

This stubborn, defiant batting continued into the last day which felt tense for a while but as India smothered everything so this eased.  Occasionally a wicket fell which gave me the flutters again but the second new ball was wasted with spin and in the end the game drifted away into a draw.  You can’t fault Carse for effort but he went wicketless in the match and you can’t criticise Dawson for his control but he only took one.  Fair play to India though, this is some team.

Long before the end I’d given it up for the inevitable draw and I enjoyed watching England women’s football team retain their title of European champions.  The team showed a lot of fight to make the final and to be fair had a little luck in winning the final but we’ll take that.  It has to be noticed that almost all Test matches are won by the team that plays the best cricket but the best team doesn’t always win in football.