World Test Championship

 

The World Test Championship cycle has come to an end with a final table which doesn’t make sense to me but to be fair I have made no attempt to understand how points are awarded.  I think the way the fixtures in these two year cycles are arranged means some teams have an easier schedule than others.  For example in the latest cycle South Africa have beaten Bangladesh, Pakistan, Sri Lanka, West indies twice, drawn with India but lost to New Zealand and haven’t played England or Australia at all.  Somehow they ended up topping the table. England may have been inconsistent lately but finishing sixth out of nine teams doesn’t seem right, even with the penalties for slow over rates.  Sri Lanka, South Africa and New Zealand all finished above England even though we've beaten these teams both home and away in recent series, though I’m not entirely sure when the latest schedule began.  Of the others we have a win and a loss against India who finished third as well as a draw and a loss against Australia in second.  Maybe one day we’ll get a schedule where we don’t play Australia or India?

Going back to the over rate penalties, assuming these are brought in to give fans more value for money, can anyone honestly say they’ve been short changed watching England?  Pundits and commentators bang on about over rates and they have a point but half a dozen overs lost rarely makes a difference to a good day of test cricket. It’s the other eighty odd that count.

Another potential controversy is bubbling with suggestions for a 'two tier' test championship being made.  I don't like the idea of this because I couldn't imagine a cricket world where England don't play against West Indies on a regular basis.  But if this format is to be the future there has to be some kind of promotion and relegation involved, even if this means one of the big teams occasionally take a tumble.

The final will be contested between South Africa and Australia, I think it will be held at Lords this time around which seems as fair as anywhere for a match between these teams.  With this announced ahead of time it implies England would have had a home advantage had they made it to the final.  This doesn’t seem right any more than a final featuring India being held in Dubai.  Anyway, I still maintain a focused England is the best Test team in the world and I don’t care who wins this years final as long as it isn’t Australia.

Tested then gone

The gloomiest weeks of the year were brightened by an England test series which like them all flashed by before I knew it.  When we’re playing away in New Zealand it’s hard to get too involved due to the time difference but starting at 2200 it did mean a few late nights as I couldn’t resist waiting till the lunch break before going to bed.  That said I did have at least one early night during each match when a tumble of wickets had me cursing my way up the stairs expecting to find an England batting disaster when I cam back down in the morning.  Happily I was wrong on two out of three occasions and this reflected how the series finished and to win 2-1 away against the Kiwis is a very good result.

The latest quirky selection will give the selectors something to think about.  Jacob Bethell, aged 19 with 260 runs in the series batting at first drop, including three second innings half centuries against a decent attack.  How can they leave him out now?  If Jamie Smith is going to reclaim the gloves then for me either Crawley or Pope has to make way.  It should be Crawley but can someone else in this squad open the batting?  Another injury for the skipper is troubling and once again I wonder if his bowling is worth the risk and if not we need to balance the side somehow.  Stokes has the technique to open the batting.  The bowlers all done quite well, Carse looks comfortable at Test level but Woakes continues to look uncomfortable abroad.  I like Woakes and hope he gets the opportunities to pass two notable statistical landmarks that are looming.  I’m not convinced about Bashir though despite his regular wicket taking.  If the team’s balance has to change then maybe he could be another that makes way?  Of the eleven that started the first test match of the year in India only five played in the last match in New Zealand and they were all batsmen.  If I were selector there’d be a few more changes before our next match in May.  (In May!?!  We’ve got to wait six months for more Test cricket!!  ICC bastards.

XI for test vs Zimbabwe that will never be picked by anyone other than me

Stokes, Ducket, Bethell, Root, Brook, Pope, Smith, Woakes, Ahmed, Atkinson, Archer/Wood/Carse

Shitstorm

The shitstorm in the middle east won’t go away, now in Syria the “brutal” Asaad regime has been toppled.  We are told that this is a good thing because the Syrian leadership was in cahoots with the filthy Russians and the dodgy Iranians and because Asaad himself was a bit of a bastard.  But honestly, was he any worse than the oil gangsters in Saudi?  And who are the rebels that have ousted the old guard?  Searching my memory, wasn’t it Islamic State (so called) when this blew up before?  Have people forgotten the last time the west celebrated a middle eastern dictator being removed things soon got a whole lot worse.

Fah fetched

Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbury

Another one of ‘those’ books that everyone has read and from the same era as ‘on the road’ but this I enjoyed a lot more but I have to admit to being predisposed to like a dystopian fiction.  NB it can’t go unnoticed that this was written in the aftermath of Orwell’s alleged fictional vision.

This is a world in which books are banned and immediately burned on discovery, their owners sentenced to death.  Montag is a fireman a profession in this future which is responsible for this state sponsored incineration censorship.  That in days gone by fireman traditionally doused the flames is now just a whispered myth.  Away from work the population is stupefied by prescription drugs and manipulated by large screens mounted on their walls and if they want to get out they get into a car and drive like Winston Wolf.  All the while people live in permanent fear of war.  This is a short book that reads easily, doesn’t get bogged down and finishes with a glimpse of hope.

But then again maybe it’s all too far fetched, after all it’s not like we live in a world where people spend their free time out of their minds on narcotics; licensed, prescription or otherwise.  Where people are addicted to interactions through a handheld device which drip feeds them bullshit whilst it simultaneously strokes their alter egos until they think the virtual version is the real them.   It’s not like this is the only time any ‘reading’ goes on because most of the time people are staring at screens that drench them in whatever the current desired world view may be.  And we would never point and sneer at anyone daft enough to suggest that the world we are told we live in might actually be something else.  No that couldn’t happen.

Up the Creek

 

"On the Road" by Jack Keruoac

A cast of dubious characters travel across the USA by road, either hitching or actually driving themselves.  Starting at New York they usually end up at San Francisco by way of Denver but actually reach Mexico before the end.  On their travels they are fuelled by loads of booze with a side dish of narcotics and try to jump on almost any passing female.  Surprisingly they claim to be successful and on some of these occasions no cash changes hands.  Sal and friends very predictably behave very badly but this is the late 40’s and compared to more recent generations its all a bit tame although I suppose it was probably considered shocking when published.  I had the impression that many of the characters were rich kids posing as artists, slumming it amongst the weirdos and riff raff but all the time they know they can just send a telegram and have funds wired and so their lives and experience are fake.  Reference ‘Common people’ by Pulp.  But not ‘Dean’ who our narrator spends half the book trying to convince us is some kind of sainted, tortured genius and is unable to disguise that he’s actually a selfish prick who could do with a long lay down on a doctor’s couch.

A revered book, classic of the beat generation etc.  Kerouac’s unique new prose, seriously?  Does unique mean bad, or lazy at best.  Another edit could have done wonders for this. The casual racism and blatant sexism can be reasonably explained by being "of its time".  There are passages and scenes that are really good and very readable but for far too much its just boring and predictable.  Disappointing.

Does something need to change?

The weeks pass so quickly and Test cricket gets squeezed into a schedule and has to play second fiddle to what has come to be known as ‘franchise cricket’, the thirst for cash ruins everything.  The result is the greatest game is suffering in terms of quality and a bloody test series is over as soon as it has begun.  None of which excuses two poor performances from England which allowed a 1-0 advantage to slip away, this after the amazing, record breaking first test.  What is going on?  How can England be so good one week and so poor the next?  We can’t point to injuries this time because we fielded two first choice elevens and good selection has been a feature of the BB era.  Maybe I should blame myself, every time I heap loads of praise on them -“…best team in the world…” etc. they fall flat on their faces.  However if the team plays with some consistency then this best in the world accolade would become reality.

What has to change?  Our last team to be number one in the world was Andrew Strauss’ team in 2011/12, in which all of the top seven batsmen averaged over forty.  In our current top three we have two players averaging under thirty five.  England’s brains trust like having Crawley come out and bat like a number six and when it comes off it is spectacular but when it doesn’t we give the opposition a start.  To be fair Crawley’s form has mostly been going in the right direction recently but he’s been fortunate to get the opportunity to play fifty Test matches.  The leading openers in county cricket are the likes of Jennings, Hameed, Lees and Burns all of whom have been tried and discarded before.  Then we have Ollie Pope who has played a couple more tests and has also had more chances than most test cricketers who have similar numbers.  Surely both these players must find form to retain their places?

The captain has been questioned this week but his place is certainly not in question however I wonder what is his playing role these days?  If he is still a genuine all rounder then fine, we know form is temporary and he’ll be firing again soon.  But if his bowling days are over then the balance of the side is altered and the line up must change.  In this case I’d have to say goodbye to Pope, bat Stokes at three, move Smith up a place and play him purely as a batsman then pick a proper wicket keeper, Jordan Cox looks like getting a chance in this spot in the near future.

Our pace bowling unit has had big changes enforced upon it in the last twelve months and a few players have taken their chances; Atkinson has had an excellent start to his career and the likes of Potts, Stone, Carse and Tongue have done okay but none of these should stand in the way of fully fit Mark Wood and dare I say it Jofra Archer.  I like Chris Woakes and would have him around for a home series, specially if the captain isn’t bowling.  Ironically our spin bowlers are looking good, I say ironic because we won’t be playing in Asia again for a few years now so it will be rare to have more than one spinner in the XI.  So we get to choose between Leach when fit, the almost forgotten Tom Hartley and the current first choice Shoaib Bashir.  However for me the most exciting spinner is Rehan Ahmed and I’d love to see him in the side more regularly.  His younger brother is said to be even better and hopefully one of these players could develop into a genuine all rounder because I have a feeling that space will be vacant sooner than any of us would like.

Next up are three test matches in New Zealand beginning at the end of November.  The Kiwi’s are always hard to beat (as recently demonstrated in India!) but we should expect England on top form to win comfortably.  If not then it should be time for some hard questions.  Oh yeah there’s some white ball stuff coming up later this week too, I might take a passing interest…

Tested?

The Test match summer came to an end a couple of weeks ago while I was otherwise engaged.  Having already won the series England were arrogant in selecting an unknown fast bowler then managed to produce possibly the worst home performance in years.  The batting was mostly awful, to lose 17 wickets for about 250 runs is simply not good enough and will mean defeat at almost any time.  When given the chance to be heroes and bowl England to victory our new attack wasn’t up to the task.  The captaincy throughout was naive at best and at worst, that word again – arrogant.  Fair play to Sri Lanka for getting the win but they should never have been allowed to get into the position to do so.  When England are on form they are the best team in the world but when they are bad they're infuriating.

Of the ‘new’ batsmen given a run this summer Lawrence didn’t take his chance and may never get another but Jamie Smith absolutely did and looks as if he could be something special.  His wicket keeping was tidy enough to make me stop banging on about Foakes, maybe.  With the bowlers Gus Atkinson looked the part right up until the final innings, Bashir done well enough and the jury remains out on Hull, I thought Potts was unlucky to be left out for the last match.

Next month we have a tour to Pakistan with three test matches and a sensible squad which has become normal in the Stokes era and is noticeable because this wasn’t often the case under Joe Root.  We’ll have the same top six that did so well last time, half a dozen seamers to choose from and three decent spinners but can we win 3-0 again?  Any win away against Pakistan is a seriously good result, as long as England don’t play anywhere near as badly as they did in the last match we have a chance and if the captain is fit we might just pull it off.