Sunday, 28 August 2016

Things that piss me off part 1

It's good to rant.  I do it a lot, it's one of my hobbies.  Don't worry I'm not that miserable, I actually derive a great deal of pleasure from venting to my nearest and dearest so i thought I'd share this with anyone who is bored enough to read this crap.

So here we go...

Personalised number plates.

A car is essential for most of us but for some it is also a way of showing the world how cool and successful they are, even if it is mostly owned by the bank.  Personally, I don't care what I drive as long as it is reliable and will carry everything I need it to (i.e. family and fishing gear, not necessarily together).

All cars come complete with a registration plate but for some the fancy car is not enough and they have to extend their penis further by forking out more cash for a personalised plate.  These plates are supposed to represent the name of the owner but in reality it rarely comes close, even with the addition of an over sized black bolt or even a strip of tape.  In my opinion these people are C1_1NT5.  If these PR1CK5 really have cash to burn then why not give it to charity?  Why?  Because they are self obsessed AR50LE5 and the silly reg plate makes them look like 1D10T5.  When I pass one of these on the road I'm not impressed, I just think D1CKH34D!

Staying with cars I'm not a fan of convertibles, they seem pointless in a climate such as ours when the opportunity to drive with the top down are so rare.  I'll let them off a little because they make me laugh when I see them struggling in a sudden summer shower and on the first sunny spring day in March when they sit behind the wheel shivering in about six layers of clothes, complete with hat and gloves.

Queuing traffic is just a part of life these days, we all have to put up with it because, well we're part of the cause!  I really get the hump with people on dual carriageways who think its acceptable to nip into the inside lane and 'undertake' a few cars before nipping back into the outside lane.  This is also illegal, as far as I know, not that its my job to enforce the law...  A warning to anyone considering this maneuver on East Anglian roads, if you see a black Seat, it might be me and I ain't going to let you in.  As the pompous twat in the silver Mercedes on the M11 found out earlier this week.

Finally for now; I'd like to thank all the many businesses out there who choose to advertise themselves on the sides of their vehicles.  This is very useful as when their drivers behave like fuckwitts I can then make a mental note of which businesses to avoid in future.  If I ever need drainage or sewage consultancy I won't be contacting Binder of Claydon.  Should I get a flat I won't be calling GW Tyres.

I've been doing a lot of driving of late, does it show?

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