Third test. It can't get any worse

Third test.  New Zealand won the toss on a flat pitch and decided to bat.  Openers Latham and Conway opened the batting and kept going and going and going and…

As the runs piled up, landmarks came and went and sessions passed so the questions formed in my mind; flat pitch or good batting? Will we ever take a wicket? What the fuck is going on?  If NZ bat us out of the match, will that be the end of the Kiwi?
Eventually, deep into the third session both openers fell in quick succession but not until each had passed 150 and the partnership was over three hundred.  England mugged two more out before the end of the day and things looked a lot brighter.  It wasn’t long ago that we thought England could win from any position but that confidence is long gone now.

Day two saw a complete reversal.  England bowled well - Stokes in particular, kept the pressure on and managed to take the final six NZ wickets for just seventy seven more runs and New Zealand finished on 438.  In England’s reply Gay fell early but Duckett and Bethell were superb and when the day closed the score was 223/2. Duckett was out having made 113 but Bethell was unbeaten on 74 with Root alongside him at the crease.  Despite their still being a large deficit the feeling was England were ahead in the game and should be able to power on in the morning and get a lead.

On the third day the match flipped again.  England lost the overnight batsmen quickly and there was a procession of wickets; Smith and Stokes contributed little but Brook passed fifty again before missing a straight one.  The innings was all over at tea all out for 354 now New Zealand were clearly ahead in the game although the TMS commentators were saying the pitch was deteriorating.  Jofra removed the openers and it was game on but NZ batted well and finished on 120-3.  With a lead of 204 their position was stronger than it was at the end of the first day.

The fourth day was one of good old fashioned attritional cricket with England bowling well, nicking wickets but NZ gradually building their lead.  Ravindra was out in the nineties and Mitchell scored the slowest half century for years while Stokes and Archer took the wickets. 
Then in the middle of the afternoon came a total shock, Ben Stokes announced his retirement at the end of the game.  Why?  Was it for his long term health and fitness or have the controversies and disappointments of recent weeks and months taken their toll?  Reasons are irrelevant, England will be losing one of our greatest cricketers and the future for this current team is uncertain to say the least.

Back to the cricket…  New Zealand kept plodding along, Stokes got a wicket in the first over after his retirement was announced, of course he did!  Mitchell completed a brilliant hundred and NZ declared with a lead of 370+.  Stokes opened the batting (of course he did!) blazed away to 30 then got out and was applauded from the field for the final time, he’ll be missed in so many ways.  After that England batted like it was a one day match, runs scored, wickets fell and finished the day on 103/4.  I know this was an emotional afternoon but this was brainless cricket, almost disrespectful to the game and to the opposition.

The final day had no surprises unless you count Smith getting a few runs and perhaps extending his test career a while longer.  England managed to bat on into the second session which suggests that with a bit more application on the previous evening, a draw might have been possible.  Drawn test matches have gone out of fashion lately but there have been countless great test matches that finished without a result.  New Zealand eventually bowled England out to deservedly win the match by 160 runs and take the series 2-1.  NZ didn’t win because of all the disruption going on in the England camp, they won because they played better, more disciplined cricket.

So no more Stokes in test cricket, a shock as well as a disappointment, I hoped we see him play for a couple more years yet and I wonder if there’s more to it than meets the eye.  Apart from a few great bowling spells and some blinding catches I can remember four innings that left me open mouthed and one of them may have been the best ever.  For me his captaincy tailed off towards the end but at his best he was as good as any I’ve seen.

 

So where does that leave us? Right back where we were at the start of the BB era, up shit creek without a paddle and with a large hole in the boat.  When you look at the players we have along with others who have retired in the last four years, led by an excellent captain, we could have dominated Test cricket.  What has become apparent is the team has been under prepared, at times one dimensional and often badly selected, no wonder we’ve under performed. 

What next?  We have an unproven team with potential but no obvious leader, other than Root who is poor tactically.  Yes exactly where we were four years ago, the Kiwi has to go along with Key.  New coach?  I’d go for Alec Stewart ta very much.

We’ve got a load of white ball stuff coming up next along with the bastard hundred, the next test is against Pakistan in August, somebody needs to do a lot of thinking before then.  Apart from the obvious (I’d still balance the side with Rehan Ahmed) I can’t see the line up changing much.  The bowlers are largely blameless for these latest debacles and Ollie Robinson is one of the summers plus points.  Emilio Gay came in to the side in good form and did okay.  Jacob Bethell was in no form at all and struggled until the third test.  If England are serious about him as a test player he needs to play first class cricket ahead of a franchise payday.  If Bethell himself is serious about test cricket he should choose to do so.

That just leaves the captaincy.  Put the names below onto a dartboard and chuck a dart blindfolded.

XII for Pakistan
Gay, Duckett, Bethell, Root, Brook, Smith, Ahmed, Atkinson, Robinson, Archer, Tongue, Bashir

Second Test

I was away from home last week which is one of the reasons I totally missed the first day, Test matches start on Thursday don’t they? Ironically a much different England team (five changes!!!) had a decent day but as soon as I tuned in, things went downhill. The first session I heard was the start of day two when England were fucking diabolical and Joe may be a saint but he isn’t a captain, he still hasn’t learned. New Zealand got on top and remained there for the next two days. NZ won the crucial moments and outplayed England. I have to have a word on selection. Just to say, with Stokes out I’d have picked another all rounder; Rehan Ahmed has taken wickets and scored good runs in the championship today. I haven’t seen James Rew - the stand in Wickie but he dropped two catches. An interesting trend in recent series is opposition keepers standing up to fast/medium bowlers. If this continues it’s all the more reason to pick a proper wicket keeper…
The match made it to the fifth day with NZ well on top but was all over within the hour, Matt Henry bowled brilliantly to take eleven in the match and New Zealand won by 253 runs. A thrashing and for the series to be all square feels right and fair. England were outplayed in all aspects of the game; we fielded badly, didn’t score enough runs and the captaincy was poor. This was one of the worst home performances I can remember, there is no disgrace in losing to NZ but the margin of defeat is embarrassing and five changes is no excuse.
Of the players who came in Archer and Fisher done well but I expect only Jofra will make the next XI. Rew’s keeping was not good enough and neither he nor Cox made enough runs to make a case for selection in the near future. I can’t understand the Baker selection, with Archer and Tongue in the side there is enough pace and Matt Henry showed the worth of a line and length bowler, like Sam Cook of Essex who was tried last year? To be fair the bowlers weren’t the problem, England just didn’t score enough runs.
There will be changes for the next match; Stokes should return and hopefully Atkinson, Robinson and Smith should be available. Even a “full strength” England team will have their work cut out to beat New Zealand and dare I say it, there are players under pressure as well as the management.

MCC & England. Both should be embarrassed

4^th June  Day one

Welcome back TMS and the voices of summer!  New Zealand won the toss and put England into bat under gloomy skies, to see our batsmen reduced to 55-5 was predictable and didn’t hurt as much as it should have.  NZ played and won a test match in Ireland last week so came to Lords in the groove while England’s players had played a few county games.  To see England bowled out for 140 was no surprise but to be fair NZ bowled really well and only Brook gave his wicket away but not until he’d played a typical innings of 56, although he was dropped twice along the way.  With less than forty overs bowled in the match, England were in deep shit again and it seemed all too familiar.

But Ollie Robinson bowled a superb opening over to leave NZ 2-3 and there was only one loose ball in his opening spell which was 6-3-10-4.  This is the player that hadn’t been picked for two years.  Atkinson and Tongue chipped in with wickets too and play finished with NZ on 61-6, England have a chance of a first innings lead which is insane.

Day two

England managed to bowl out New Zealand without too much fuss, Robinson got five and deserves his place on the hours board.  NZ were 113 all out so England finished with a lead of 27 and the second innings progressed slowly but surely passed 100.  Gay in his first Test reached fifty but when he was out with the score 126-3 it sparked a collapse to 126-7 and the game was swinging towards the southern hemisphere.  Together Smith and Atkinson steadied things and later Robinson chipped in and for the second day in a row England benefited from bad misses in the field.  Eventually all out for 226, England set NZ 254 to win the match.  Just like the first day, New Zealand had to start batting again after spending most of the day in the field, England had to make the new ball count.  With the score finishing on 36-3 and Williamson gone they just about did.  England on top but one decent partnership could swing it the other way.

Day three was a non event, a few overs bowled, a few runs scored and two wickets for Robinson put NZ even deeper in the shit.  Day four began with a New Zealand win possible if unlikely but any England nerves were settled by an Early Wicket for Tongue.  This was followed by NZ’s best partnership of the match which passed fifty before it was broken by Stokes.  Atkinson soon mopped up the tail to finish with five and England won by 115 runs.  In the context of this low scoring match the margin of victory amounts to a thrashing, England were better in every department, it’s been a while since I’ve been able to say that!

There was a lot of chat about the pitch which was very poor, not good enough for any first class cricket, let alone a Test match.  Thankfully it didn’t favour one side over the other, It was a fair and even contest but not a memorable game of cricket.  England go one up and will almost certainly name an unchanged side next week but we haven’t learned much about this ‘reset’ England team.  I have learned that I still care though.

Or do I?  Professional sportsmen, people given the one in a million chance to follow their wildest dreams and make a living doing something most of us can only wish we had the ability to do.  Sadly some of these fortunate people don’t have the intelligence to stay out of the fucking pub, morons.  What goes on in Stokes’ head?  He’s given us once in a lifetime performances on the cricket pitch but his after hours shenanigans have cropped up and got him into trouble before.  His attitude when interviewed during the most embarrassing Ashes series in living memory was arrogant and out of line.  Everyone needs to let off steam, fair enough but what are professional sportsmen doing in a night club in mid series?  But for off field decisions England could be ranked number one in the world and I’ve been critical of the Kiwi but is Stokes off field stupidity the real problem?  Is it him selecting players that have no business in test cricket?  That the captain doesn’t think a team curfew applies to him is completely wrong.  “Run towards adversity” they say but you get the impression this squad would run blindly towards a pride of hungry lions or swim a crocodile infested river.  Worryingly they’re in South Africa this winter…

Test Cricket Tomorrow!!!

The greatest sport of all returns tomorrow, England vs New Zealand at Lords but a showery week is forecast.  We’re stuck with the Kiwi so have to live with it and the on field personnel are mostly familiar.  I’d like to have seen a different keeper but Foakes has been injured though I doubt they’d have picked him anyway.  I hope Smith does well and stops all speculation.   As for the Kiwi, it’ll take more than a couple of home wins to convince me.

Crawley has gone which can be no surprise to anyone, replaced by somebody called Emilio Gay who has been going well in the championship, fair enough.  Otherwise the batting line up is the same although Smith and Stokes may swap places.  The bowlers are mostly familiar, Bashir is back (?!), good for him, I hope he does well.  Apparently Carse would have been in the squad but his injury opens the door for others.  Robinson is set to return from exile, at his best he’s as good as anyone we’ve got these days.  Josh Tongue should be an automatic choice now which leaves Gus Atkinson or the wild card Sonny Baker.  Apparently he’s fast but I’d leave him for later in the year and go with Gus.
New Zealand are a good, well drilled team with excellent batsmen and some bowlers we’ve not seen much of before.  England should expect to win every home series but have to be at their very best otherwise New Zealand could well win.  If England fail to win this series will anything change?