Humbug

07/12/14

When England are not involved in any cricket I forget to blog.  In the absence of test cricket it takes at least two ODIs to make me remember.  England have lost the first two and I’m only mildly interested.  I’d like to see us do well in the world cup but right now they look nowhere near good enough.  England haven’t been in with a serious shout at the world cup since 1992 when we really should have won it. 

I was in Australia at the time and at the SCG when England thrashed Australia with a great all round performance from Ian Botham’s, possibly his last man of the match in international cricket?  This performance and that ’92 world cup is mentioned in Beefy’s autobiography, “Don’t tell Kath” which I read last week.  It was published about twenty years ago so a little dated but covers his career right up till retirement.  Now Botham is the greatest English cricketer that I have seen and has been a hero for most of my life.  I enjoyed reading Beefy’s accounts of series and matches that I have lived through as well as his adventures away from the game.  Botham is very honest about his indiscretions over the years but doesn’t seem to be particularly repentant.  His attitude to life is hell for leather, live the moment but with a bit of damn the consequences.  Ian Botham is going to do what he wants, when he wants and if you’re not with him then you must be against him.  Despite being a hero, I have to say he doesn’t come across as a very nice bloke.  Overall a decent read but I’ve read many better ‘cricket books’.

A quick update;  A few days have passed and England have played two more ODIs, winning won then losing the next in the final over.  A few positives and good performances but still no closer to knowing what our best XI is.

Its December already and the kids and I have spent the afternoon putting up the tree and decorations, it’s that time of year again.  This year I have decided not to be quite so grumpy about the whole over-commercialisation of our winter festival.  I will also try to not so rude to people full of booze and fake cheeriness.  I can do fuck all about it so I will do my utmost to ignore it.

Selection

The England selectors have chosen their centrally contracted players for the year ahead.  With loads of ODI cricket coming up, including the world cup there are five incremental contracts awarded to players who specialise in the shorter formats.  Of far more interest are there twelve men selected with Test cricket in mind.  It consists of eleven men who played test match cricket this summer and one who didn’t.  This is Stephen Finn who is looking like finding his form again at last and I’m very pleased to see him back in the squad.  A notable absentee is Sam Robson who did not convince as opener this year.  Robson needs to score big runs on the ‘A team’ tour this winter to have a chance of getting his place back.  Waiting in the wings are Lyth of Yorkshire who will also play for the A team as well as Hales who could force his way in if he does well in ODI cricket.

There are four players who could be classed as all-rounders in Jordan, Stokes, Woakes and Ali, I’d expect two from these to play in a test match.  With no specialist spinner in sight Ali is almost certain to play and I’d go for Stokes if all the others are fit & firing.  If he’s the player he looked like last winter then he has to play.  England do not play test cricket again until next spring when we have a tour to the West Indies before facing New Zealand at home.  England would expect to win both series and any player that does not perform against these teams will find it hard to justify selection for the Ashes series that follows.

Khaled Hosseini wrote “the Kiterunner” which is one of the best books I have ever read (if you haven’t read it, make it the next book you pick up).  He followed this with “A thousand splendid suns” which was another great book.  Both are set in Afghanistan and both are incredibly moving, euphoric in some places but horribly dark in others.  Houssini’s latest novel is “And the mountains echoed” and finds the author in familiar territory, telling a human story amid the historic turbulence of his homeland.  It’s a little different as the narrative jumps around between different characters whose paths connect through the years.  This works well even though there are a couple of sections that could have been left out.   I’ve put off reading this novel for some time as I know just how dark and disturbing Hosseini can be; do I want to go through that?  Will the high point justify it?  “Mountains…”does not take the reader to neither the dark depths nor exultant highs of his previous books.  Consequently it’s an easier, lighter read but ultimately not as fulfilling.  Make no mistake it’s still a damn good book and its unlikely Khaled Hosseini will ever top his first novel.

The ‘Ice bucket challenge’ has been the big craze of late summer.  If people want to be covered in a bucket of ice cold water in the name of charity then good luck to them.  However I’m uncomfortable with the way social media has been used to pressure/coerce/bully people into doing the same.  I regularly donate small amounts of money to charities or causes that are personal to me so opt out of having cold water chucked over me.  I did find myself inspired to invent the ‘Bucket of Michael’s piss challenge’ but so far David Cameron hasn’t answered the call.  Fair enough, I’m sure he gives a little to charity too.

Couple of books & stuff

Moan.  When I watch TV it’s either sport or comedy for most of the time.  I’ve noticed the breaks are loaded with gambling ads whether bookmakers or online casinos.  I have nothing against gambling, not my thing but each to their own.  What bothers me is many of these ads imply its cool to gamble, makes you one of the lads.  This is bollocks, gambling isn’t cool it’s just another way to spend money.  The only thing anyone ever needs to know about gambling is in the long run, the house always wins.  Always.

India won the ODI series because they are world champions and England were pretty awful until the final game when the series had already been lost.  Was this just the wrong team to be able to challenge for a world cup or is it the right squad playing badly?

Finished reading “Norfolk mystery” by Ian Sansom.  An eccentric writer and his upper class assistant are trying to write a book but get side-tracked by a suicide.  Or is it a murder? There’s a bit of melancholy to begin with followed by plenty of head scratching then some chuckling and a couple of full blown laughs.  The story didn’t go far but the characters are great and I look forward to enjoying the madness further as the series unfolds.  Perhaps a future TV series with Colin Firth and Stephen Fry starring?

I followed this with Nasser Hussien’s autobiography “Playing with fire”.  I remember forgetting to read this when it was new on the shelves a decade ago.  Nasser was a cricketer I admired and as England captain he helped build the platform to England’s best decade of test cricket since I’ve followed the game.  I should have read it at the time because the passing years means the book has lost some of the controversy that may have arisen.  I love reading about old matches that I followed and these include Hussein’s entire career so I was a bit disappointed that I can remember the games better than Nasser!  It’s interesting to look at players Hussein picked as potential stars of the future.  Andrew Strauss and Jimmy Anderson proved him right.  Alex Tudor couldn’t stay fit and maybe Rob Key was the right bloke at the wrong time?  Nasser was a very good cricketer, an excellent captain and an honourable man.  His book is a good read a decade on.

For no good reason at all, here's Kiki the wonder rabbit.

Dreams are weird

Last night I dreamed I had a  field of brown cattle and a large shed in my back garden, which had grown from the current tiny patch and become a large rolling field with stone walls and the occasional tree.  Come to think of it there was no sign of my house...
After dark the cows came into the shelter of the shed where I also kept a dinosaur.  A T Rex to be precise.  Now you could expect the Rex to feast on the cattle but this one was a lover not a biter and was only interested in shagging the cows.  A short time later there were several tiny dino-cows running around.
What the fuck was that all about?

Norfolk break

The fifth and final test was all over inside three days with another emphatic England win by an innings and 244 runs.  England played with an unchanged side and this time Jordan and Woakes came to the party to support the main two bowlers but the early damage was done by Broad and Anderson who was named man of the series.  With the bat Root scored another century and there were fifty plus scores for Cook and Ballance along with 40+ from Buttler.  As good as this victory was, it told us nothing as India were simply pathetic showing no fight whatsoever.  A year ago I sat on the beach listening to England clinch the Ashes and here I listened to them clinch another series.

There are now over six months until England’s next test series and a few question marks still hang over the team as they prepare for the Ashes next summer.  We are still no closer to finding an opening partner for Cook as Robson just hasn’t done enough and although Moeen Ali has improved as a spinner he still hasn’t impressed enough with the bat.  I’m still far from convinced we know who our best support bowlers are either.  Jimmy Anderson is just three wickets away from breaking Sir Ian Botham’s record for test wickets but he has a long wait until he gets the chance.

Over the next few months we have loads of ODI cricket and it looks like we’ll get to see more of Alex Hales in this form of the game.  He’s having a great summer in all formats at domestic level and could prove to be a match winner for England.  If he does well in this series against India and also in the world cup early next year he may well find himself opening at test level.  Watch this space.

While the test match was unfolding I spent a lovely weekend camping with the family in north Norfolk.  We pitched our tent at a site just behind the dunes at Waxham, close to the Broads and other attractions.  We spent a day in Norwich where Shelley & I found the castle really interesting.  Madi preferred the shops and Isaac enjoyed Pizza hut.  

 The best thing about camping at Waxham is a five minute walk across the dunes brings you to a lovely sandy beach with fantastic views and always Seals playing in the surf.  Unfortunately the British weather prevented us spending too much time on the beach but evening walks with the sun setting behind us were a must.

 Another good thing about being close to the coast is the opportunity to eat fresh seafood.  We enjoyed fantastic meals at the Hickling Greyhound and also the Lion at Somerton.  Both are friendly, family pubs where we were made to feel very welcome and I’d recommend them both to anyone visiting the area.

 At Great Yarmouth the children had fun at the Pleasure beach and all of us loved the Sealife centre which was fantastic.  It’s been a few years since we last visited and in that time it’s undergone a complete overhaul and is really well laid out.  Sealife is a clever company, they know what kids like to see and have added Penguins to the cast of thousands of fish and other sea creatures.  Kids also love ‘finding Nemo’ and weren’t disappointed but everyone’s favourites are the sharks.  I also couldn’t resist popping into “Pownall’s” tackle shop to have a look at the huge stuffed Pike on display.

A place I won’t recommend is “Buddah’s banquet” in Great Yarmouth.  We entered with the intention of having a meal but were made to feel like the staff couldn’t be bothered with our custom so we left quickly.  The kids always have fun in Yarmouth but this experience sums the place up from my point of view.  Peel away the gaudy seaside veneer and it really is a shit hole.  I don’t need piers, neon and crash bang wallop; just give me nature, sand dunes, a nice beach and the sea.

Elly Griffith’s novels are often set in Norfolk.  I really enjoyed reading ‘The Crossing Places’ a while back and recently picked up a copy of the ‘The outcast dead’.  Although I enjoyed this book it wasn’t as good as the first.  It didn’t seem to flow and seemed more like another chapter in a longer story than a novel in its own right but I suppose that’s exactly what it is.  Some of the less convincing characters from ‘Crossing places’ are still around and they just don’t work for me.  That said I'm sure I'll read another Elly Grtffiths novel in the future.

I also read “The girl who saved the King of Sweden” by Jonas Johansson which was damn funny and just as mad cap and enjoyable as “The one hundred year old man…” which I read last year.  If you like Tom Sharpe’s type of humour then you’ll like these books.  

My current book is also set in Norfolk; "Norfolk Mystery" by Ian Sansom, more on this to follow...

Were England very good or India very bad?

The fourth test has been and gone, all over inside three days with another emphatic England win, the margin an innings and 54 runs.  In brief, India won the toss and elected to bat in gloomy conditions.  Anderson swung the ball all over the place to take 3-46 and Broad bowled mean for a superb 6-25.  England then batted pretty well with Bell getting 58 but at this point India actually managed to win a session.  When Buttler joined Root the lead was just 18 but a stand of 134 put England in control, both batsmen scored 70+ and the lead was over 200. The only downside was an injury to Broad which meant he couldn’t bowl.  In the end he wasn’t needed.  Anderson and Ali done the damage with the ball then Jordan tidied up.

Once again England played very well but on the other hand India were awful, a truly gutless display.  Yes their best bowler, Sharma is injured but let’s be honest, he isn’t that good anyway!  The bowlers who have played have done OK it’s the batsmen that have let them down and the fielding hasn’t been up to much either.

England are starting to look just a couple of players short of a good side now.  At the top of the order Sam Robson hasn’t taken his chance.  He’ll probably be given one last chance at the Oval but I’d like to see someone else given a go.  After this match there is a six month break for the test team before three tests in the Carribean next spring. I’d like to see Carberry given another chance or failing that Compton was surely discarded too early?  Moeen Ali is taking wickets but still doesn’t look like a top class spinner.  I like him and hope he retains his place but he needs to score runs consistently to do so.  In the last two matches Woakes and Jordan have just not taken enough wickets and have rarely looked like doing so.  Ben Stokes will come back into the side at some point as should Plunkett if fit.  Waiting in the wings is Stephen Finn who will one day become a great bowler.

My XI for the Oval;

Cook, Carberry, Ballance, Bell, Root, Ali, Buttler, Plunkett, Broad, Finn, Anderson + Stokes as cover for Plunkett.

More test cricket

Last time I found a moment to witter away on here I moaned because England’s senior cricketers hadn’t been producing the goods.  Since then the third test has come and gone, Cook & Bell scored big runs and Anderson took a bag of wickets.  There was also big runs from Ballance, six wickets from Ali and contributions from Root, Broad and Buttler on debut.  This led to a comfortable England win, in fact this was the best performance since England won away in India a couple of years ago.  Plunkett and Stokes were left out for this match with Woakes and Jordan coming into the side.  Neither made any headlines but were both unlucky to finish wicket less in the match. 

This leaves the series beautifully poised at 1-1 with two matches to play and the fourth test starts at Old Trafford tomorrow!  This wicket should suit England’s bowlers, Plunkett is unfit so it seems likely England will name an unchanged side.  The four seam bowlers will be expected to take wickets on this surface and after his performance at Southampton the pressure is off Ali for now.  He looks a good cricketer but I’m still not convinced he’s a really top level spinner though I’d love to be proven wrong.  Of England’s side Robson may start to feel pressure if he doesn’t make runs.  It would be good for England if Root could move back to open and free up a space for another bowler.

I expect England to go on and win the series 3-1 from here but I’m still not sure we have a side that can compete with Australia next summer.